Out Of Her League

confused

Her soft lips on mine, though it was a small peck, it felt like it lasted forever. I never want this moment to end, it feels too good to be true. But it's not that I like her right? I mean she's just so pretty but maybe we're just friends. I like derick anyways.
I hear something no someone opens the door and enters the classroom
Serenity quickly pulls away from me and starts talking
"Gosh I love learning about History! It's one of my favorite subjects. Learning about the past has always interest me"
"Hey seren! I didn't know you were gonna be in here" says Kathrine(one of serenities friends)
A small feeling enters my stomach. It's not butterflies like when we shared the kiss. More of a feeling of embarrassment. She doesn't want to be seen with me? I get it, I'm the ugly fat girl that everyone hates. I wish I was just beautiful , I wish I was skinny like other girls; pretty hair, perfect body, everyone knows me, A student, athletic, I wish I was like her. So maybe she doesn't like me. Good because I don't like her. I think. Maybe thinking like that would stop me from liking her.
"I was just finishing up anyways so we can leave now"
She doesn't even turn back to look in my direction. What was this thing. This relationship with her. Will this be a daily thing. Or will she just forget about me.
Ugh I'm just overthinking this. She doesn't even care. No one does and that's okay. I just have to get through my sophomore year without any distractions.
*lunch time*
I usually sit by my self outside under the tree reading my favorite book. But I see Serenity come over to me. I panic I don't know what to do. How do I feel towards her. Am I mad? Sad? Happy? In love? No I'm not stupid I don't love her it was one simple kiss she probably kissed tons of people I was nothing to her. And me being in love? Pathetic I'd never.
"Hey, didn't mean to leave you back there I just had some stuff to figure out..."
I don't know what to say, is that her way of apologizing? It's terrible. I can't just make this more awkward by ignoring her. But what shall I say? Just be normal and talk. She's just some girl. But not just any girl, the prettiest girl i've seen.
"Oh it's fine, I understand" I mumble
"Well I should get going anyways I have sports to do. Talk to you later?"
I need to stop her. I don't know why but I just have to. I'll regret it for sure if I don't. But how, what am I even gonna say. I'm so dumb this is so dumb. Why is she playing with my feelings like this? Is she a friend or more?
"WAIT- I yell
"Yes? Is something the matter?"
"Well..the...kiss."