Out Of Her League

im sorry

Jade,

I'm hoping you followed instructions and didn't open this until Sunday at 10pm. Well I trust you. There's a lot on my mind. But mainly you're running in my mind, I just can't stop thinking about you. You probably don't even remember me or is just trying to forget about me which I completely understand. I messed up but I want to explain everything to you it's what you deserve. I was so worried when I got a call from the hospital. Thankfully you didn't die. But I was still scared for your life. I wanted to leave everything in the past but when your friend came in it just reminded me of everything I did to you. It's stupid of me to apologize on a letter. So come to where we shared our first dance, our little date. You deserve the truth face to face. Please.
- Seren

Damn why can't I remember? Did the fall really hurt that badly? Think where did we go together. I'm not sure I'll just go for a walk and hope to see her. And if worse comes to worse she may call.
I walk down my street and still no sign of her. Did I get some concussion or something. Gosh my head hurts I just need to sit down. I go to the nearest bench by the park and sit under this shade structure. I lay down and close my eyes for a bit.
"JADE??!??! WAKE UP!"
What's that ringing noise make it stop I'm trying to sleep. I slowly open my eyes and see her. What was her name again?
"Oh hey sorry I just needed a little nap" I say
"YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH I THOUGHT YOU DIED! I've been trying to wake you up for the past ten minutes. Are you okay?? Here let's go back to my house so you can lay down."
I walk slowly to her home. My body is shaking and my bones hurt or my whole body just hurts. Maybe if I was skinner and healthier my body wouldn't be in this condition. Gosh I hate being like this.
We get to her house and I struggle to walk up the stairs. This is embarrassing.
"It's fine you seem hurt is everything okay? We have a guest room so we can just sleep there"
We? As in me and her in the same bed together close enough to hear each other's breathing. Well I guess but she had to tell me something...but what I just can't remember.
"I'm just tired. So tired"
"It's fine rest you seem a little sore. I'll contact your mom and let her know where you are."
"Wait...
"Yes?"
"You said you had to tell me something...in the letter I read it and you had to tell me something?"
"I'll tell you more in the morning. It's best to get your rest."
She moves closer to me as I sleep. Holding me tight like this is the last moment we have together.
(Serenity's pov)
I can't tell her. It feels like we are starting over. A fresh start just what we need. What I need. I messed up bad and I hurt her in ways I'm not proud of. But now that she doesn't know I can use that as an advantage and be with her again. I miss her so much, I was so happy with her. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings but now I know not to mess up. I just want her. That's all I want. Holding her tight, cuddling, laughing smiling, just her presences makes me happy. I forget everything else when I'm with her. She makes me feel free. So why did I do it? Why did I kiss Kathrine why did I give into her knowing I loved Jade. I look down at my arms noticing my cuts fading away. Why do I do this to myself. Every time something good happens I always ruin it. But I have to tell her at the same time. Because later I know I'll regret it. Hurting her again. I can't do that. I just miss my Jade I was so stupid this is what happens. This is my punishment. Maybe if I wasn't in Jades life she'll be safe, I won't be able to hurt her. And she'll be happy. I just want to die.