Adapt. // kny x insert m!reader

06 - TRYING.

There was a really bad thing about Y/N, other than his poor management with his emotions; he could never wake up from nightmares. No matter how awful, how painful, how terrifying it was, he slept through it all. Sure, his sleeping form displayed distress, but he could not wake himself up. And right now, his body was shaking and dripping with sweat, tears soaking his eyelashes as they rolled down the sides of his face and yet his eyes were shut. The only thing that made him capable of waking up was the faint pleads he would mumble in his sleep, as if he were begging for someone to stop, and his distressed aura that alarmed the Mist pillar. Muichiro wasn't one to check on people while they sleep, but the sight made him feel as if a hole was punched through his stomach. He wasn't one to care, but he felt a strange sense of responsibility to protect the other boy. His eyes widened as he rushed to his tsuguko's side, shaking him awake gently, yet firmly. He was aware that if you wake someone up very suddenly they might have a heart attack and die, so he tried to be as gentle as he could. That seemed to be enough to make the older boy's eyes snap open, gasping for air- his e/c eyes were wide and with tears spilling out of them. He was holding onto his throat gently, as if someone had been strangling him a moment earlier.

Muichiro was suddenly pulled into a hug. He didn't move at all, he just wat there. He wasn't used to physical contact or affection, so he didn't hug back but he let the other boy hug him tightly. He was aware that Y/N needed a source of comfort at that moment, but if the case was any different, he would've probably beaten the (h/c)ette up, without hesitation. The older soon realised what he was doing and tore himself off the ravenette, looking at his hands that rested on his lap. The e/c boy murmured a quick apology, earning a nod from the pillar. "Do you want to talk about it? I'll have forgotten it by tomorrow anyway..." The mint-eyed boy suggested, looking up at the ceiling. "It's just my memories coming back to bite me on the ass, don't worry about it.." Y/N muttered, chuckling sadly. "Someone once told me that if you talk to someone about what's on your mind, you will feel better afterwards. I don't remember who told me that, but you should try it." Muichiro tried to get the older boy to talk to him once again. He heard a defeated sigh coming from the person beside him. The latter was  very reluctant about opening up, but with the awful memory the younger had, he doubted if would make a change in anything. "I guess, I could tell you.. As long as you promise not to think ill of me after." He turned to look at the other boy, who returned the gaze. "I promise." The ravenette finally confirmed, waiting to hear the boy's story.

"My father,, he- he was a bad man... He killed my mother when I was only four, because she was against putting me through harsh training in order to keep an old family tradition going, while she suggested that I get properly educated. It was awful. I had to watch him stab her countless times while I was on the floor with my leg broken from when I tried to step in. I always blamed myself for her death.. I felt as though, had I never been born, she would be alive, well and happy right now, but my very existence costed her everything." Y/N paused, taking a bug breath as he felt like he was going to break down from just that. He didn't fail to notice how troubled Muichiro looked, despite trying to hide it under his regular, composed expression. The (h/c)ette sighed, but decided to continue. "I was put through said training, eventually. As you can guess, that's where my talent in fighting came from, but I really wish I was actually a useless wimp without any muscle forming on his body. That would've costed my life the one time I was attacked by a demon, sure, but at least I would've died happy. Anyway, back to the point.. The training in itself,, was actually basically torture. I was on the verge of death multiple times over my early childhood days. I vividly remember my dad drowning me to increase my lung capacity, but that one time I actually passed out. I was unconscious for around two weeks, he told me." A single tear spilled from one of his eyes, but he was quick to wipe it off and continue his speech. "Once he deemed me worthy, he used me as a fighter in illegal gambling clubs. Basically, two fighters would have to fight to the death or until one gives up.. And people there were ones who had nothing to lose from fighting there, so they would never give up. My kill count is well over 200. Maybe higher than 300. I had been doing that for around 4 years when Kyojiro-san found me. And had he not, it would've only gone up." He concluded, taking a glance at his sensei again. He flinched when he looked into his eyes. They were wide and glossy. He seemed very angry. "I'm sorry. You can kill me if you want. I'm worse than a demon anyway." The h/c boy ended his speech as he waited for a sword to slice his throat, but it never came.