𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐆

99

ANA

I gathered myself quickly after vomiting the little bit of food I had ate on the way up to Atlanta with my mind in 1 million directions. Was I sick? Was it a stomach virus? Could I be pregnant? I prayed to God or whatever old white man was sitting up in the clouds to make the last question as false as possible.

I still was young as shit. I wasn't ready for a fucking baby. Not only that, who else but Blu would be the daddy? In a different time and a different place this would have been the come up of the century but I didn't want to be one of those other bitches who trapped a nigga with a baby. As fucked up as I was making multiple situations, I didn't want this kind of karma kissing me on the back of my neck.

"Fuck!" I cursed to myself, wiping my mouth with a paper towel. I could feel another gag coming up that I was able to keep down, thankfully.

I knew one thing for sure and two things for certain: I needed to take this pregnancy test just to be sure this shit wasn't what it was and I can rest my anxiety.

Quickly shutting the door and resting back into the passenger seat, I tucked the letter into my bra and shut my eyes in thought. It was going against everything I was raised to believe to think I was really writing a letter to a lawyer but at what odds do we keep continuing to believe the same shit when it comes to the expense of someone you know and love?

At this point, it was 'bout time to break the rules and do what was right. Fuck the code. I wasn't trying to show my face back in Miami in the projects after all the shit that has went down anyway. Jamie and I were either going to get a place together as we promised in high school down by the beach or we me and Blu were, hopefully, going to move in that direction of living together.

Deep down in my heart, I knew I couldn't go back to the city that raised me. Word was going to circulate fast that I worked with the feds. Shit, it wasn't like I didn't hear all the rumors there was since leaving the projects and staying with Jamie. I just pretended to ignore it.

Either way, my stomach doing backflips and I felt another bout of throwing up beginning to start when there was a sudden tapping at my window.

My eyes shot open and there stood Cut. I tried to muster some kind of excitement but deep down I was annoyed with his presence and his negligence on top of the fact I was feeling sick to my stomach.

He helped himself to opening the door with a huge smile on his face. He looked me over one time before reaching inside to pull me into a hug, kissing my neck.

My face grimaced in disgust at the whiff of his woodsy cologne as it caused my stomach to stir once more.

"I called you." I said flatly, my arms still at my sides as he continued to hug me.

"I saw. My bad, shorty. I had some business to attend to."

I sucked my teeth, pulling myself back from his hug. It was always some shit he had to attend to.

"Cut, stop playing with me like I'm stupid." I snapped, "You been out of sight and out of mind since the day you left me in the hotel with Blu. I know I ain't ask for no shit from you but to vibe with each other and all this, but I got some shit to say."

Cut took a few steps back, his face transitioning from happy to neutral.

"Aiight, let me have it then. I know I ain't been the best nigga, I'll admit it. So, whatever you have to say to me, I deserve it. All the fuck niggas and bitch niggas you got for me; I deserve all the shit. But just know I wanna do shit differently. Being up here and just- being by myself made me realize that this money and shit isn't everything. It really isn't everything. But I know I fucked up witcha. I ain't gonna deny shit. So, go 'head. I'm ready for whatever you got for me."