𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐆

4

"Mama, I love you." I said to her, I always made sure to say it to her 'cause I know she don't hear it from that tired ass nigga Junior.

She looked back at me and gave me a big grin, even when she was missing teeth on both sides where her golds used to be and from smoking too much crack. "I love you too, baby." was all she said--or better yet managed to say--before the bus-driver cleared her throat to get a move on.

I just sucked my teeth, hoisted my PINK duffle over my shoulders, and stood back as I watched the bus drive away. From what I could see from where I was my mama sat next to some other baser who bus-hopped and they smiled like old friends. I just hope she kept her word and just headed straight to the methadone clinic and nowhere else.

I should have went with her to be sure.

- - -

It was around 8am when I got back home and I didn't have to be to the actual school today so I thought why not to text my home-girl and we hang out today. I haven't been seeing her ass since she got a man and all that shit!

I can't even lie I would get jealous as hell seeing them in the hallways and shit kissing and being all lovey-dovey, and from what I hear he got his own little hustle he do only on the weekends though cause he wanna finish school and shit.

A smart nigga and a cute nigga, she got it in the bag!

I text her to call me and laid back down with the curtain pulled back so I can get some sunlight. It felt good to not have to go nowhere but looking around this room made me miserable, I did my best to make our house into a home, I painted my mama room and mine and even decorated it with the money La gave me, but that shit would go to waste when my mama would steal our own shit to make some extra money, so I stopped trying and just started stashing the money La gave me in some shoes I hid in my closet.

Before I got myself even more upset, I just put my headphones in and rolled over to take a nap, doing a double-glance outside to make sure nobody was outside and shit. I took one headphone out just in case and felt myself drift away quick.

- - -

12pm.

Damn! That nap was good as fuck, I even had a little bit of drool sliding down my mouth as I sat up to stretch. I checked my phone and saw that my friend Jamie didn't text me back. I knew her ass was up, she probably snuck her nigga, BG, over to her house to fuck her brains out. Damn, she got it good.

Well on the outside.

I know her ass don't wanna go to college and she damn sure don't got the grades to go far. She always tell me she fine where she at and she don't plan on leaving the hood. I always tell her she out her damn mind to stay here and she always tell me:

"Ain't shit out there but hopes and dreams, at least here I can learn to love my reality instead of wanting something I'm probably gonna die trying to get."

BG ain't really have that far of a plan either, he always would shrug his shoulders when he was asked what he gonna do when he get outta school and he always just say "I'm gonna hustle and stack my bread and take care of my mom and sister." I can't really get mad at him, but I always be thinkin' there's something more to be done to get out. Not just pretty up the situation but to be actually gone.

But whatever, some people just don't wanna leave. And some people fall in love in they bullshit and see nothing else.

"Girl, text me." I text her again. She didn't read my last message so she probably is still asleep.

I shrugged and switched apps to my Instagram and saw that Cut had wrote me back. I was smiling big and shit as he gave me his number and told me to call him. I was about to call his ass now but that shit would have been too thirsty. Would it have been, though? Shit I know there's plenty of bitches out there that been hounding him day and night and I shouldn't feel that special about him wanting to hit me up but shit I wasn't about to say no.

'I'll text him probably later.' I thought to myself as I flipped back to my home screen. I saw in my messages there was another message but I didn't get no notification so I was a little skeptical.

It was a number that I never saved saying 'Wassup?'

"Who is this?" I said with a suck of my teeth. I hated when people played on my phone, I thought I was over and done with this shit especially when my ex-nigga Skooby decided to have his old hoes blow up my phone bragging about how he still fuckin' her and she still suckin' him like that shit was supposed to make me mad. Like I wasn't with this nigga since I was 14 and he took my virginity and all but when he got cute he started to feel himself and she just so happened to be the groupie to take him away. Dumb-ass hoe made me change my number and all and she still be trying to text me off those little play numbers you get off free texting apps in the App Store.

Like who really does that?

I was already a little agitated my homegirl was ghost and I wanted to chill with her so this better not be about no dumb shit.

"La." The number responded and I was a little taken back, since when did he text from out of state numbers?

"La! What the fuck you doing scaring me like that? Why you changed your number?" He always had a 954 number and now he had a whole ass New York number. Something is off.

"Long story. Listen, I'm not gonna be coming down for a while."

What the fuck?!

"What you mean you not coming down for a while?" I replied back.

"This ain't some shit you just text someone out the blue!"

"I'm texting you off a JPay number. Shit got crazy up here doing a job so I'm gonna be up here for idk how long. You gonna be good?"

Hell no I'm not gonna be fuckin' good! How I'm supposed to get my hair done and my back broke and shit now!?

"Fucking no, La, you know I need you." I was shaking from being so damn mad but I knew I had to hold it down on my own eventually. Again and again i ask myself why do I depend on niggas and again and again I convince myself to believe different when niggas in this type of game really do come and go like seasons.

"I'm sorry baby girl. I'll be out soon. Hold it down. I gotta go."

"Wait La I got to ask you something."

This number is currently not accepting text messages at this time - message blocking is active.

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