𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐆

9

Fuck, Jamie you can't drive this car no faster?

I was gripping the dashboard of her car like I lost my damn mind. I was thinking about my mama. I was thinking about her being in that hospital bed by herself or with that asshole Junior. She told me she wasn't gonna overdose again--she lied. She also told me we were gonna leave the B&Bs this Christmas. That was 8 Christmases ago.

Shit I only remember because I stopped actually receiving presents after 10 years old because everything that wasn't glued to the floor or my ass was sold for an 8-ball or to supply Junior weed habit. Why the fuck did I have to be the adult? Why did I always have to come to my mama rescue? I was bout sick of this shit but I knew my mama went through a lot of shit and this the only way she would be able to deal with life. To deal with a divorce. To deal with poverty. But her wanting to escape from it all caused her to escape wanting to be a parent. I was my mama's keeper. And I'll be damned if I lost my mama to this shit.

Anais, girl, why you crying? You know your mama stronger than this. Girl hold on, we almost there.

I didn't even know I was crying. I wiped my cheeks and it was soaking wet. Damn! I hated when Jamie saw me crying. She was like a sister to me and when I was hurting she felt that shit too but she was always the one to talk me down.

Damn I hate this shit so much. Why couldn't my daddy have just taken us with him to Atlanta? Why couldn't I have that cliché family archetype where both parents was happy and in love and the kids was successful? Not mine, my family dysfunctional as fuck. Brother across the country. Daddy left us for dirt. Mama on drugs.

I didn't even tell anybody I got a full-ride scholarship to Howard. I might not even take that shit just so I can stay in Miami with my mama. Jamie pulled up to the roundabout of the ER and opened the door for me. Go ahead and find your mama, I'll pull around to park and come in in a minute. I ain't even say nothing; I just hopped out the car and headed straight for the emergency room. I heard Jamie suck her teeth because I didn't close my door but I ain't care. I only cared about my mama.

My mommy. I can't lose her.

- - - -

20 minutes and a smooth cuss out to the charge nurse and I was back in the ER with my mama. I ain't even recognize her she had IVs and an oxygen mask surrounding her and her baser ass boyfriend Junior was sitting there stone-faced as fuck with dark shades on looking god knows where—probably eyeballin' the devil in Hell.

I knew them two was using. I wanted to slap fire out of his ass just by looking at him. He had on a dingy vertically striped polo on with some unknown stain right on his chest. He was wearing some equally faded khaki pants with holes on the knees and some busted ass slides every uncle wear to the family cookout who be on the grill and flirting with everybody cousin. If it wasn't for the doctors and the nurses standing in the room with me I would've jumped on him. He didn't even look my way. He just sat there with his arms folded over each other and a toothpick hanging out the corner of his mouth. I knew he was high. I knew that posture from anywhere and it made me sick. I was 18 now so me showing up wouldn't cause DCF to come scoop me up but the police was standing there too.

Damn right I would've fought his ass. Helping my mama shoot up thinking I'm just ign'ant to this shit. He probably felt my eyes burn a hole in his potbelly the way he kept shifting, I hope that shit burned through his skin and killed his ass.

"Ms. Hamilton. Ms. Hamilton." The doctor broke my death glare and when I turned my eyes to him he flinched like it burned him too.

"Since you're the next of kin, would you authorize your mom to stay overnight to be monitored?"

This doctor stood in front of me with his blue eyes peering at my very soul. Him and his resident were just staring at me in suspense like they got their kicks out of being in a hospital in the hood. Jamie shook my arm to get my attention and you could feel a sigh of relief leave Junior body. You knew he knew I was about fed up with him.

Before I could open my mouth, I felt Junior grumble out of his stupor to open his chapped lips. He still wore his shades as he stood up and seemingly looked the doctor's direction.

"She ain't no next of kin, I'm her husband so I can make the decisions." the doctor was about to rebuttal but I full snapped on his dog ass.

"No the fuck you not you just live with us and fuck my mama. You ain't no husband of hers." Jamie gasped and tried to step in-between me and Junior but I just motioned closer.

"Matter of fact, since I AM next of kin, excuse his ass out of here." the doctor, his beady eyes focused on us while pulling back the curtain to call security, barely opened his mouth when Junior shot up in a crack-induced rage. "I pay the muh'fuckin' bills in that shit hole so you better respect me!"

Standing up, he almost knocked his chair back into the heart monitor trying to prove his point. I was just waiting for him to step to me so I can lay him out, I been waiting four whole years to do it.

"Mr. Junior, you need to calm down or we're going to have to ask you to leave." The doctor, so afraid of his own life, stepped closer to the panic button than in-between us. Jamie stood in front of me as best as she could because the room was already smaller than a studio apartment with no kitchen. "Now, Junior, you know she don't mean that, she just upset that's all."

"Nawl, fuck that bitch!" Junior slurred, white foam coming from the corner of his mouth and sweat trickling down his forehead. How the fuck was he sweating as cold as it was in the hospital? "She always got some slick shit to say. If she wasn't my lady daughter I would've been knocked her ass down-"

"Fuck you Junior; yo dope-head ass ain't shit!" I snapped back at his ass and that must've took him to the next level because in the blink of an eye Junior lunged himself at me and it took two security guards to hold him back and drag him out of the room.