𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐆

34

If I could sink into the seat I would. In the back of my head I was hoping some vortex would suck me and spit me back out in an alternate universe where my mama was sober and we was in Atlanta with my daddy. 

Something other than this shit. 

I looked straight ahead in the car as Cut zoomed down the backroads. The area was transitioning from the city to Opa-Locka. I think I even passed the big Aladdin Bazzar type shit that was just by the train tracks. 

It was so uncomfortable for me to swallow. It felt almost like I had rocks stuck in my throat and all I could do was balance them in my mouth as to not let them knock back into my esophagus and suffocate me.

We went over a speed bump and the brick pressed into my pelvis. It was heavier than I thought or just the fear surging through me made everything feel more than what it was. Noises were sharper and all of my senses were at 10.

Cut must've noticed I wasn't pushing for conversation by the nervous glances he made at me. When we stopped at a red light, he reached over and rubbed the back of my neck with a reassuring grip.

"Ana," his voice was soft and silky, not staggering and sharp how it had been back in the bando. "If this too much for you, just let me know and I can take you home. Its no pressure."

I couldn't read his tone at all. Was he being sarcastic?

"It ain't even that." I shook my head around to loosen his grip. "This ain't no shit i'm not used to seeing. But.. The way you had spoke to me back there wasn't fuckin' cool. All you had to do was hold the shit and-" I choked. "Just forget it. How much longer and where we going with this?" 

I ain't want to let him know how terrified I was and how holding the shit that sent my mom to critical care was making me feel like I had a million spiders crawling all over my body. 

It was so fucking hot even when the AC was on full blast in the car.

Do this shit for the money, Ana. Don't get your feelings involved. Do it for the money. The money. You ride this shit out long enough and you'll be able to get in on the bag and be out this shit.

Cut still had his hand around my neck not in a threatening way, but he rubbed the edge of my hairline so carefully as if I was on the point of breaking and I really think his hold was keeping me together. 

He was silent and it made the imaginary clock in my ears tick that much louder.

"Say somethin, Cut." I breathed. One rock fell and hit my stomach.

"Come here."

He pulled me in and kissed me once before trailing down my jawline down to my neck. I sighed as he came back up and kissed my cheek gently like he saw the cracks. "I ain't gonna put you in no harm, ma." he snaked his hand along the hem of my tights and threw the brick on the floor. "You good in my hands. If you ride for me then you gotta ride shocks and all. But trust if its too much i'd rather you be chillin' at home than out here with me."

"Then why you made it seem like you was gonna hurt me back there?"

"Nah, that shit wasn't even you. I'll explain another day but I assure you it wasn't you."

"... Okay." I massaged my throat as I felt the rocks disappear in my throat. "I'm good. Just tell me what's up and don't be with that scary shit next time." even as I glanced at the brick on the floor, it still felt embedded in my stomach.

"You make it sound like i'm the devil, ma." we were back on the road now. He turned into another plaza that looked to be full of boutiques.

"Damn near."