𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐆

12

We was sitting in the parking lot of Kandy and Kream just coolin', eatin' our food and just laughing at some old memories. Skooby was playing around with his watch a few times before he cleared his throat and faced me with a serious, burning look in his eyes. 

"So i'm saying like.. What you really about to do Ana? You know you bout to graduate and shit and I know you smart as fuck so you can go off to college and all that.. but what you gonna do bout ya ole girl?"

I didnt say nothing. I just leaned against the hood of Skooby car and kept digging in the bottom of my bag for those greasy ass fries that Kandy and Kream cook but they're so damn good. Worth the slippery fingers and all.

"Ion know. I don't think I'm gonna go to college. I'm prolly gonna stay here and just get a local job or go to the community college-"

"What?" Skooby sucked his teeth like he just lost a bet and took a sip of his shake before speaking again. "You trippin' Ana for real. You actin' like you don't wanna leave the hood."

"It's not even that skooby. It's my mama. I cant leave her." my pride wasn't about to let me abandon my mama like everyone else. But I was beginning to feel like my blind faith to her was causing me to resent her.

Skooby ain't say nothing after that. He just cleared his throat and kept digging in his food bag. It was me who broke the silence this time. 

"It's not like I don't wanna leave. you know I always hated being here in the hood. It was like we been in purgatory all these years and my mama just loving it. My daddy left us here and now I gotta be the adult. I been having to be the adult since my daddy left."

Skooby scratched his chin and shrugged his shoulders like he was having an indecisive conversation with himself. "I think there's more to that story than you think Ana. Ain't no way yo daddy would just up and vanish and move on like that. Have you ever asked your mama what happened?"

I scoffed. "No. she always start gettin' mad and shit every time I bring it up so I just let it go."

"Mmm." was all he said in response.

That shit struck a nerve for whatever reason. He was always so calm and collected until he needed to pop off on someone. But when he was calm when I actually needed him to react was really what got me from 0 to 100. 

"What you be thinking about Skooby?"

"What you mean?"

I turned to him, scratching my top lip as I picked my words carefully. "What you be thinking about? You know this whole situation fucked up and you know you don't have to be there for me. So why do you do it? That shit earlier in the parking lot. Offering your hand when you see I keep pushing it away, like really what you be thinkin'?"

Skooby was getting uncomfortable with my questions. I could tell by how he clenched his jaw and shifted his body weight left and right. Some habits just don't change.

"Why you asking me this?"

"'Cause I wanna know."

 When skooby took too long to answer I caught a big ass attitude and opened the car door to get inside so we can go.

With one foot in the door, his dark voice was the only thing that echoed in the noisy parking lot.

"Its cause I still love you, ma. Always had love for you. Yeah I fucked up but that don't mean shit. I still care bout you and hate to see you angry at the world all day and night."

I felt my heart fall down to my ass and rebound into my throat. My mama always told me don't go lookin' for answers you not ready to find and this was one of them moments.

With one leg still in the car, I looked over to Skooby and he looked both uncomfortable and hurt. I wasn't the only one carrying pain. That was the theme of the hood like it matched the carpets and the drapes or some shit.

"Skooby," I began, careful not to be so loud since the fast food place was still pretty busy for it being 9PM. "If you loved me so much you wouldn't have been out there fucking them other bitches behind my back then going around to get one of them fucking pregnant. Pregnant! You know the bitches over in the q's dirty as fuck and then you go around and fuck jazzy. Jazzy of ALL people."

"Ma, listen, i-"

"No, let me fucking finish. You knew me and jazzy was beefing for a minute and you know we was beginning to fall out. You knew all the shit going on with my mama was bad and you KNEW I was going through a hard time and couldn't give your ass the attention you was wanting. So why the fuck, and I wholly mean WHY the fuck you chose to fuck Jazzy?"

Skooby tightened his jaw and I could see his facial muscles tighten as well. It was some shit he wasn't telling me and it was pissing me off more and more the longer we stood there looking at each other like we had been suckin' on sour lemons and shit.

"Well?!"

"Man cause she told me you was fucking my homeboy Benji when I was locked up." he spat.

BENJI?! Freckle-faced, gold-mouthed Benji who talk slow? What in all the fucks was going on?!

"Benji? Skooby you know I would do no creep shit as to fuck Benji, especially when I was holding you down in jail. Kind of bitch you even take me for?"

"Man, that's why I fucked her. She got in my ear how you was always round Benji and sneaking off with him behind my back. That's why I fucked that girl. I ain't know what to believe and you wasn't returning my calls so I fucked up ma, I'm sorry."

I felt my throat close up and it hurt like hell to swallow. This was all just too fucking much.

"Skooby-" I sighed. "Just take me to wherever you taking me and we'll talk about this another day. It's already too much. Just too fucking much going on tonight."

Skooby silently walked up to my door, opened it so I could climb in and reached in to rub my chin. I didn't even turn my face away, I was so fucking tired.

I didn't even notice I fell asleep on the ride to the hotel. Skooby even stopped by my house and packed a bunch of shit--panties, bra, body wash, all that shit. 

I really do got a soft spot for this nigga. But I think it's just too far gone cause this hood romance can't last forever. And I gotta get out.