𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐆

37

The ride home with Chyna felt like it took forever. Although the cruise in her all-white s-class Benz felt like riding on a cloud it felt like I was taking my last ride. I didn't know whether to trust this broad or to actually listen to her. Lord knows it was even harder for me to believe anybody anyone could say Especially When they mixed up with that bitch Jazzy.

So, we gonna be out of town for a little while. No telling when and how long it'll be. But take this. Its my card and there's no limit on it. Get you some nice clothes and all that shit. My treat.

She handed me a heavy black card and a piece of paper with her phone number scribbled on it. Why was she being so nice to me? Did I look like I needed a fuckin' handout? Well, shit, I wasn't gonna say 'no take your black card back', so I thanked her and went in the house thankfully to Jamie still sleeping.

I took my shower and buried myself under the covers so far I hoped to get sucked in and never come out. My stomach hurt, my calves hurt and I felt a headache coming on. Thank fucking god it was Sunday.

I checked my phone, no messages from anyone. Checked my IG and I saw a DM from Cut hours ago and upon instinct I rolled my eyes at the multiple bubbles

My bad for leaving shawty. Money was calling.

Chyna good people, she gon make sure you get home.

Hit my line when you get this so I know you skr8
We gon go out when I come back I gotchu
You wanted to see a nigga life so we'll go down that road *100 emoji*

Go down that road, huh... Interesting. Why it felt like we already had a flat tire?

I knew in the back of my head that Cut was in the game. He ain't have no job and always hung out on the block so that shit didn't bother me. What was beginning to bother me was the influx of bitches that knew him or of him. Just how many hoes he even had in his circle?

My head began to throb just thinking about it.

I took a long breath, said a silent prayer, and just closed my eyes. I knew once I got good in the game and stacked my money thanks to Cut i'd be able to get out of here. Start a new life. I knew in my heart I wasn't beat for no college, and if I can get it in good with this nigga I knew i'd be straight without even popping out no baby.

The thought calmed me down enough so I could go to sleep. I just hoped my real life would follow suit with this fantasy.

-

It was 2 weeks and I hadnt heard from Cut. I FT him that Sunday afternoon and he didn't read my messages on IG so I just let it be. I had my own real life to catch up on.

"C'mon Jamie, you know visits at Jackson end at a certain time." I called out to her while she was in the bathroom. Jamie was acting back to her normal self since she came home sick and throwing up. I would catch her at random times just spacing out but then she would pop back into the conversation like nothing happened. With everything that I had going on, I just made it a point to monitor her. She ain't know it, but I been trying to go on her phone to maybe get some information but she changed the passcode to a thumbprint. Aggravating ass shit. It made me feel like the bitch trying to go through her boyfriend phone.

"I'm coming girl! I know your mama gonna be happy to see you after all this time. She still in the units right?"

"Yeah. Hopefully she actually try to talk. My brother called me saying he flew down to see her and all she did was stare off into space."

"You think she, iont know, mourning Junior?"

"Why would she mourn that nigga? The same nigga that had her using drugs and shit? For all I care that nigga can get in the ass by the devil himself."

"Ana you know that shit ain't cool, he already dead."

"And? Cause of him my mama got shot and thankfully was saved from having kidney failure. I don't give a fuck bout a nigga who don't give a fuck bout the people he round."

Jamie was silent for a minute before taking a breath. "Your mama sick. I know and you know that shit. The most that we can do is just be there for her whether or not she wanna be there for herself right now. And you said your brother in town? Why don't we all go to lunch?"

"That might be cool. Lemme check and see where he staying."

"And yo daddy?"

I felt like I was losing touch of the rug under me. The skin on my neck prickled. "What about him?"

Jamie came in the room and squatted down in front of her closet to pick some shies. "I know he been calling you. He call every night after you went to sleep. Why don't you wanna talk to him?"

I forgot I charge my phone some nights because of the bad outlets.

"Whats there to say after 10 years? He up and left my mama and me fter all this time so why not keep that same energy? I'm bout to be 18 and I just feel like its too little too late."

"And you don't think the drugs had anything to do with that?"

"Well-"

I shifted left and right as I sat on her bed. The idea didn't cross my mind until now.

"Well? You don't think how your mama walkin' around now didn't have anything to do with your daddy leavin? I'm not justifying none of the shit he did but consider the source. There's a part of the story you not getting and its causing you to feel this way."

"Listen, Ana. Baby, if this is you, please call me back. I been tryna get in touch with you for years, please call your daddy back. I know its a fucked up situation going on right now and I know you got a lot of questions but, baby, listen, whatever Kandi done told you- know what, just call me, or text me. Lemme know you okay, baby. I love you."

I swallowed the imaginary lump in my throat and blinked away whatever tears I felt coming. "You.. You prolly right. But, I feel like its just gonna be an argument when we get on the phone and I aint really wth that shit."

"Well don't go into it with that mindset. Just see. And if anything if yo daddy with that shit just hang up the phone and there's your answer. But you not gonna know if you gonna keep ignoring his calls. And by the looks of it he Is Trying. So try back."

So try back.

"Alright. I'll call him when we get back from the hospital." I looked at my phone and almost jumped out my blue checkerboard pants and white tank top. "Oh shit! We gotta go, its almost 4 and you know traffic be a fuckin' mess heading downtown!"

"Oh shit, alright here, take my keys and start the car I just gotta grab my purse."

-
discussion
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- how you feel about Chyna?
- should she reach out to her dad?

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