Therapy

Part 11

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, depression, Talking about suicidal thoughts

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She had gone to therapy two days ago which had been good for her. She loved and trusted her therapist who she had been seeing for the past six months. She thought about the session as she laid in bed, holding Maya and waiting for the blonde to wake up.

"Hello Carina," Dr. Jillian Peterson said as Carina walked in for her session.

"This week had been terrible," Carina said, sitting down with a sigh.

"What happened?" Jillian asked, opening her notebook.

"My girlfriend wants to kill herself," Carina said, tears filling her eyes, "And I hate that she feels like that and I hate that I can't do anything and I hate her father for abusing her."

"Ok," Dr. Peterson said, "That is a lot going on. Is your girlfriend safe?"

"Si," Carina said, nodding, "Or I think so. I took the pills she told me she thought about taking and got rid of them yesterday. She is working today and she just texted me telling me she was at work and there are people there who will look out for her."

"Good," Dr. Peterson said, "Is she getting help?"

"She's in therapy," Carina said, nodding, "And she just got diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression and I want to be so angry at her right now because of what she did with Jack and I still am, but it's so hard to be mad at her when I'm so mad for her."

"It's alright to be angry about a situation and still love the person who created the situation," Dr. Peterson reminded her, "Are you taking care of yourself?"

Carina had told Dr. Peterson about what her life had been like growing up, always trying to take care of her father until it came back to bite her in the butt and created more problems than it solved. Carina had spent her childhood taking care of her papa and ignoring her own suffering mental health. Carina's friends had had to help her realize what was going on and help her get the help she needed.

"I went and spent the day with Amelia and Teddy two days ago," Carina said, nodding.

"Good," Dr. Peterson said, writing something down, "And how are you feeling? How is your anxiety?"

"It's... definitely up from what it normally is," Carina admitted, "Sleeping has been a little harder too I guess."

"Ok," Dr. Peterson said, "And are you practicing the exercises we talked about for when you can't sleep?"

"I'm trying," Carina said, nodding, "And I'm journaling when I have time which is helping."

"Good," Dr. Peterson said, nodding, "We talked some last week about how hearing about how you were struggling with how to handle Maya's infidelity and learn to trust her again. Have you worked on thinking of small ways you can trust her?"

"Si," Carina said, "And it's still hard, but now I think it might actually be possible to trust her again."

"So you've officially decided to stay in this relationship?" Dr. Peterson said, "Last week you said you weren't sure."

"I'm sure now," Carina said, nodding, "I am going to stay. After hearing about her diagnosis, I was able to see that at least part of the infidelity was her trying to sabotage herself, which I know isn't an excuse, but at least it's a reason beyond her not really wanting to be with me which somehow makes it less terrible I guess."