Therapy

Part 18

Slight Trigger Warning: Mentions of Anxiety and Depression, but overall, this is a much lighter chapter.  

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It had been about three weeks since her major breakthrough in therapy, and Maya's road to recovery had been up and down, but she was feeling better more times than not.

She had been on her meds long enough to know if they were working, and she, together with Diane and her doctor, decided to up her dose a few days earlier because she was still struggling more than she should be, having panic attacks at random times and feeling the heavy weight of depression even though it was less than before.

On her first day off since changing her dose, Maya was struggling. She managed to go for her run, but after showering, she climbed into bed, not feeling like doing anything. She had gone almost three weeks without having a day like that so the fact that she felt like this was discouraging to say the least. Carina was busy with Andrew, and Vic was out with Travis so she was alone for the day, spending all of it in bed, her body feeling tired and heavy.

She managed to peel her body out of bed the next day for a short run before work.

While she was at work, she was struggling to do her job more than normal, feeling weirdly panicky and anxious, but it felt different than normal. Her stomach also wasn't feeling right and her head was starting to hurt, but both of those had been symptoms she had had with her other meds so she figured the increase in dose was just messing with her. She made a mental note to call her doctor the following day to talk about it.

They worked a big fire all night, and by the time they were done, Maya was exhausted. She still wasn't feeling quite right, a little shaky and maybe panicky although she wasn't totally sure that was it.

"Are you going to go for a run?" Vic asked, poking her head into Maya's office, knowing that running after shift had been pretty normal for Maya.

"I actually was going to ask if I could ride home with you," Maya said, getting up.

"You alright?" Vic asked, looking at her friend.

"Yeah," Maya nodded, "Maybe. I don't know. Just not feeling like running."

Vic didn't totally buy it but decided not to say anything. When they got home, Maya went straight into her room, getting into bed. She hadn't slept the night before, as usual, but she was even more tired than normal.

She and Carina had plans to hang out that night, Carina planning on teaching Maya how to make pasta because the blonde was slowly eating more, finding that knowing exactly what she was eating and what was in it made it easier to put the food in her body. It was like a transfer of control of how much she was eating to exactly what she was eating. Figuring that out had made everything a lot easier, and Carina had started showing her how to cook Italian dishes, finding that it not only helped Maya add some variety to her diet but also made a great date night because the blonde was still not up to going out most of the time. She was still working with Dr. Lewis to get back to normal eating habits, but the fact that Maya was putting more than a few mouthfuls of food in her mouth per day was a big step in the right direction.

However, with how she was feeling right now, she knew she probably wasn't going to want to get out of bed later to go sit on the couch, much less learn how to make pasta.

She shot Carina a text, letting her know she was having a bad day, and that she totally understood if she didn't want to come over later.

Carina texted her back, telling her she was sorry that she was having a bad day, and that if it was ok, she still wanted to come over, that it was spending time with her girlfriend that she wanted, not the cooking lessons.