Therapy

Part 17

I actually don't think this chapter needs much of a Trigger Warning, but I am going to put one here anyway just to be safe: Trigger Warning: Anxiety and Depression

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Over the next month, Maya worked her ass off in therapy.

She ended up having to change meds about three weeks after starting them because they were giving her headaches.

The next ones she didn't stay on long because about three days into taking it, she started throwing up everything she put in her body, something she could not afford with how little she was eating to begin with.

She was on her third medication since her diagnosis about two months ago, and while she still wasn't feeling great, she was feeling better than she had been.

She was working really hard on eating again, keeping a log of everything she ate so she could physically see how much she was putting in her body. It also gave her a feeling of control that made it a little easier to eat.

Maya's panic attacks were down from three a day to one to two a week which was a big deal for her. She still felt like her skin was crawling with anxiety a lot, but that was slowly dissipating too.

She still struggled a lot to get out of bed and stay out of bed on her days off, and occasionally when she had to work too, but it had been two weeks since she had spent an entire day in bed which was huge.

Carina had been such a good support system as had her team, everyone still inviting her out with them even if she always turned them down. Andy came over more often and would just hang out.

Some days, Maya was really grateful to have people in her life who cared, and other days, all she wanted was for everyone to just shut up and leave her alone. Usually on days like that, she ended up blowing up at whoever was there which would then kick her depression and anxiety up, making her think that because she had gotten upset with someone that they were done with her. Her friends were great, always accepting her apologies and never holding her blow ups or meltdowns against her.

She was finally starting to feel like herself again, still far from completely normal, but every day, she was felt a little less like the person who just wanted it all to be over and more like someone who wanted to go on with life.

Her ankle had healed pretty quickly, meaning she was able to get back to running. She hadn't done it for close to a month after everything had happened, but she was finally getting back into her routine. She had noticed that that was helping her mental health a lot. Part of it was having a routine because she was getting up at 6 am every morning to run, part of it was that physical activity was actually good for her body, and part of it was just the fact it was just part of her normal life before all of this started. She was at the station getting ready for her shift one morning, feeling pretty good, maybe better than she had in weeks.

She went and got her shift going, even managing to eat a small bowl of fruit with her team, the first time she had eaten with them since she had been back. Everyone was pleasantly surprised, but no one said anything, knowing that making a big deal about it would just make Maya feel weird. As soon as breakfast was over, though, Vic grabbed her phone, texting Carina to let her know about the major step Maya had made today.

Maya went back down to her office, getting to work on some paperwork.

About an hour later, there was a knock at her door. She got up, expecting it to be Andy or Vic or maybe even Jack or Ben, but instead, standing on the other side of her office door was her father.