Therapy

Part 6

Trigger Warning: Talks about Suicidal thoughts, depression and anxiety

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Maya woke up around midnight, having been asleep for 8 hours, longer than she had slept in the last 10 days combined. She felt weird, kinda groggy and fuzzy.

As she woke up, the past 24 hours came slamming down on her and she felt tears well up in her eyes, curling into a ball.

"Bella," Carina said, startling Maya a little, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know," Maya said, shrugging as she rolled over and looked at her girlfriend, "Everything and nothing at the same time."

Carina nodded, setting her laptop aside.

"Why are you working?" Maya asked, "Isn't it the middle of the night?"

"I slept for 5 hours with you," Carina said, opening her arms to Maya, "But I couldn't sleep anymore if I wanted to get any sleep for the rest of the night. How are you feeling?"

"Groggy," Maya said, laying her head on Carina's chest.

"Would you like something to eat?" Carina asked, rubbing Maya's back gently, "You've barely eaten all day."

"Maybe something small," Maya said, "Some toast or something. I don't know. I just don't feel great."

"I know," Carina said, kissing her temple as she grabbed her phone.

Five minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Vic came in with a plate of toast with peanut butter.

"Hey," she said, "Carina said you aren't feeling well. Is there anything else you need?"

"I'm good," Maya said, sitting up a little, "Thanks."

"Of course," Vic said, smiling at her friend, "If you need anything, just let me know."

Vic left, closing the door behind her. Maya picked up a piece of toast, taking a small bite.

"She and Andy both said they'll hang out here tomorrow," Carina said, "I told them you were sick so you can do whatever you want. If you just want to lay in here and sleep or rest all day, you can, but Maya, they are your friends and they are worried about you. They know something is off with you. I'm not going to tell you you have to tell them everything or even anything, but they love you Maya. Let them be there for you."

"I'll think about it," Maya said, nodding as she put her head on Carina's shoulder.

"Also, I will not tell anyone you don't want me to about anything you told me," Carina said, "But I am going to Amelia's tomorrow and talk to her."

"That's fine," Maya said, nodding, "Just don't tell anyone from the station. I don't want them to look at me differently or judge me. Amelia won't care. She already thinks I'm crazy."

"You're not crazy Bella," Carina said, shaking her head.

Maya just shrugged, eating another bite of her food, when she was done, Carina took the plate, putting it on the nightstand before looking down at Maya.

"Do you need anything?" Carina asked. Maya just shrugged, closing her eyes for a minute.

"I am going to go get ready for bed," Carina said, Maya moving from her place in her lap, "You probably should too. And how would you feel about taking another sedative? You need to sleep."

"I don't want to," Maya said with a sigh, "But I think I need too. I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep. God, I hate feeling like this. I should be able to sleep. It's a basic human function. I'm so screwed up I can't even do something that babies are born knowing how to do."