WHAT IF

39

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           " how can i not have anything casual to wear " Valerie said to Miss Ann as she walked through her whole dressing room .
            " because its the first time your doing something casual in your life " she said
             " i have done something casual , i sometimes do with Amanda and yes my simple clothes are at her house" she said
Miss Ann smiled at her , looking at her with the expression of still not all the times that something you do when no ones about it .
              " let me get you something " Miss Ann said then walked out of her room .
               " Valerie " Jordy came in calling
              " in the dressing room " She said loudly
Jordy immediately walked to the door but hesitated to open
             " are you dressed or not " he asked leaning his head on the door frame
             " am wrapped in a towel" she said , Jordy remained silent thinking about her answer , he frowned a bit
            " Val,  that does not give a right choice , not sure if i should enter or not " He said.
Valerie opened the door suddenly , Jordy jumped backwards hurriedly .She passed her head through the gap between the frame and door .
              " you just called me Val" she said with a serious face , Jordy silently confused with no answer to give her, he knew he had fucked up much as he could her by name but making it short is another thing
              " does that make us friends " She smiled widely saying
Jordy giggled so relived at her statement
              " wait all along we haven't been friends , Val auch.." He said pressing his chest hard .
Valerie laughed at him and he laughed as well .Miss Ann walked in again with clothes in hand ,
              "Breakfast is ready , be down both of you " he said then walked.
He reached the door stopping .
              " wait , when did you two become this close " He asked .
Miss Ann and Valerie were quiet looking at him silently
              " i feel left out " he added
              " just go out already " Miss Ann said . They were left smiling at him , Miss Ann unfolded the clothes she had come with , Valerie's jaw dropped at the clothes she had come with .
               " Miss Ann , those are Andrew's shirts " she said in shock
               " i know , try them on " Miss Ann said  , a bright smile on his face
               " like how am i supposed to fit in" she asked. Miss Ann looked at her with the look of the answer being so obvious
               " there are two options remain in the towel till we go shopping or wear this " Miss Ann said
              " mind you it will so uncomfortable for everyone if you stay in the towel" she added .
Valerie silently looked at her not that she had an option
               " i will try them on " she said
Much as Andrew seamed to have turned a new page , writing and doing different from the old him but people rarely change , they might but not completely its that fear that she has much as she is trying to adjust to his pace .
                " that one fits " Miss Ann said with a wild smile . Valerie looked at herself in the mirror in Andrew's shirt .
                " put on his boxers with in " Miss Ann added , All Valerie did was smile , but this question had a lot of questions and not so real as well .
Her eyes on herself in the mirror , observing herself from head to toe

                 That fear of getting too comfortable with something that's not going to last , what he changes again or what she won't let herself feel and take on with the comfort he is leading her own , what if its just the guilt pushing him or the fact that she cried in front of him begging him not to divorce her . Just like how things have changed now they can change back to the worst still .
She really can't forget the man Andrew has been, the cold ......
There is a lot to be said about the old Andrew but that may not be the reason why she is so bothered by the changes , Andrew mentioned he had someone in mind , much as she tries to brush it off , its there pops up every now and then , there is fear that comes with that thought .
             Right now looking at herself in his shirt has actually hit her hard , she now sees herself as his wife , actually always been his wife , she has him in his hands and just yesterday she slept in his hands and chest , today she finally feels her wife to Andrew Smith shoes besides the old usual when she used to fake in public and pose as one in front of the cameras , back then they were heavy , pain and tiresome to keep on.
At this moment , she is even not trying to pose or fake ,she actually is his wife,  its behind closed doors , no one is watching , no one to please or lie that they are perfect , but it is , its not the best of all but right now in her eyes its perfect , she can have this replayed to be her daily having her smiling and satisfied . The most beautiful part is that its Andrew trying , putting in a little effort to his her new perfect , in the old days she was walking on eggshells to make it perfect for him .These shoes , the Mr Andrew Smith's shoes actually feel light and comfortable to be in and its this current feeling that scares her losing to another woman that's on Andrew's mind , something she will never obtain to be on his mind as someone he thinks about and smile
So for sure she is already at advantage .

                  " aren't you going to answer that " Miss Ann asked
Valerie was still stuck in her thoughts
                  " Valerie!!!!!" She loudly called
                  " yes..." She replied suddenly, she was startled out of her thoughts
                  " the phone its ringing , aren't you going to pick it up" Miss Ann asked .
She looked at from the distance where it laid on the side bed surface. It had been long since she had that phone Andrew was the one with it , she didn't even realise it was returned .

                   " tell them am sleeping " she said to Miss Ann , turning back to the mirror .
Like requested Miss Ann went ahead with answering it .
                  " hello " Miss Ann said
                  " Valerie , she is around" she said after a little bit of silence
                  " yes of course , she is wide a wake " Miss Ann said replying to the one on phone .
Valerie turned looking at Miss Ann wondering what happened to i was sleeping part .
                 " yes of course , she is right here " Miss Ann said 
                 " here " she said , handing the phone to Valerie.
Valerie heaved a sigh catching the phone then directly to her hear
                  " Valerie.." The calm voice she knew so well on the other side on the phone. She hurriedly removed it from the ear looking at the screen.
Andrew it read , she returned it to the ear once more
                  " its Andrew " he said
                  " yes , i know " she said softly .
There is sudden silence on phone
                  " well ....ahhh ..i am sorry for leaving you in bed alone this morning without wishing you a good day or saying good bye " Andrew said , first he seamed shy but collected himself lovely saying out his words.
Valerie didn't have a reply for that but to shyly and  bright smile .