WHAT IF

45

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               Andrew reached home for now an hour and some very good minutes , he was up and down, frustrated , angry and confused at why she was that angry , she even cried and not even home . Yet still he was extremely worried at how she was feeling and where was at .
Now four times he is calling her but no response . He knows to the core she that she is intentionally refusing to pick his calls .
               " calm down , will you " miss Ann said to Andrew .
Andrew breathed out heavily sitting down in the  sofas .
               " i can't , i really can't " he said worriedly .
               " i believe she may be angry about Steph but that is not a reason enough " Andrew said .
               " what do you mean not a reason enough yet your mentioning a woman's name in the statement ." miss Ann asked sounding angry as well  . Andrew looked at Miss Ann quietly wondering whose she was on.
               " why are you angry with me as well " he asked .
               " no in fact why are seeming like your taking her side before hearing me out " he said out his feelings and thoughts .
               " before asking me that you should your self what brought Valerie to be in this state" she said .
               " i don't know , can't think of anything that went wrong at the office" Andrew said , leaning back in letting out a very heavy sigh .
Jordy and Emma walked in together .
              " Valerie !!!!!" Andrew stood up calling expecting her to be coming from behind them .
              " where is she ?" He asked them .
             " she is not with us " Jordy said quietly .
Andrew sat back looking at the both of them . In the hurry to catch with Val , he drove himself leaving Emma and Ray at work . He knows and expects answers from Jordy cause he drove Val away .
             " where did you put Valerie " Andrew asked
             " i believe she needs her personal space to think , not what is happening inside her head " Emma said .
             " she was almost collapsing in the office " Emma added
             " tell me what made her angry" Andrew asked .
Andrew was defensive , angry and not seeing any important matter as to why she would be so emotional to an extent of almost collapsing .
              " she saw you with Stephanie" Emma said .
Andrew giggled a bit , he could not believe his ears .
               " your two were locked in the meeting room , Valerie came and stopped at the door , whatever she saw was not pleasing " Emma added .

               Andrew thought hard carefully in silence .
              " is she the some lady , Valerie mentioned the last time " Miss Ann said 
              " yes she is " Jordy said .
              " what lady are you talking about " Andrew asked .
              " you were the one who told her that you were in love with some lady , you didn't tell her the name ." miss Ann said .
              " that statement imprinted on her mind , it has bothered her for a while now hearing the name Stephanie , with how pumped you were talking about her last night made all sense to her " miss Ann added 
              " That is bullshit , am sure you all know that " Andrew stood up saying .
He walked to around the room trying to think .
              " we know that but she does not " Jordy said .
             " And its not our job to add up the dots , its yours . Which apparently you have failed " Miss Ann said .
Andrew passed his hands in his hair .
Maybe he should have said what he felt but......

             " The time i mentioned that to her , she seemed uninterested in the topic , i just....i just got ...." He said not finishing his statement .
             " Fuck......" He shouted .
The others silently looking at him , they blame him less yet he is still at full fault .
             " tell me , where is she " he demanded for answers .
             " At her parents home " Jordy replied .
             " What!!!!!!!" He shouted unbelievably
             " why would you take her there " Andrew asked
             " she said its where she wanted to be " Jordy replied confidently .
Much as they didn't have that much of chemistry or never had the time to talk about each others family past , more than anyone Andrew knew her home was the last place she would want to be , the some even applies for him . That's what they try to run from every single day , so convince him something but not that .
He immediately grabbed his phone calling her again . Still the some , she has still refused to reply to her .
            " where are the car keys " he hurriedly asked .
So ready to go pick her up , he knows it well be just the best option for her to come back here and bicker instead of her parents home
           " you can't drive Andrew " miss Ann stood up saying to him
           " well i still can't sit here " he said .
           " i will drive you " Emma and Jordy said at once .
           " thank you but i would love......
The door was opened before he completed his sentence .
All there eyes towards the corridor from the door . 
           " Valerie " Andrew called walking towards her.
           " don't touch me please " she said , her voice sounding so tired .
           " i have been so worried " Andrew worriedly said
Valerie giggled a bit , his statement so unbelievable .
           " well its high time you stopped worrying , its not i was going to throw myself in a car or commit suicide over you " She said .
           " this is not funny Valerie " Andrew said
           " well am laughing either " she replied . She gently pushed him aside walking away
            " why are you angry with me Valerie " Andrew loudly asked , just an inch away to being so pissed .
            " i think i should be the one asking you that , why are you getting angry " she turned asking him .
Andrew heavily sighed .
            " i am getting angry because of this your funny act " Andrew said . Valerie giggled again .
             " if your finding it funny why are you not laughing Andrew " she asked , crossing her arms around her chest .
Much as they were both trying to keep calm it was clear enough they were going to lose it .
              " you have no right to be this pissed Valerie " Andrew said .
              " why don't i have the right , cause am pretty sure I have all the right to feel anyway i want ." she loudly said back to him .
              " you are forgetting just recently you were kissing with that bustard Leon " Andrew loudly replied .
               " so i hope you take that in more mutually instead of acting all innocent " Andrew angrily said .
                " wow , says the mature guy who wanted to file for divorce , i think i am pretty mature here " Valerie said back .
Andrew breathed out heavily , he didn't want to be this petty and bring back the long gone unpleasant events .

                "Valerie ....please calm down so we can about this , like we are supposed to " Andrew calmed out .
                " talk about this , when have we sat down to talk about things .Remind me if am wrong but you always decided things on your own " Valerie shouted . Andrew still knew she was right about everything she was saying .
               " what i am trying to say is that there is nothing between Stephan and i " Andrew said.
               " Honestly , i don't care , i though somehow hope that there is something between the both of you " Valerie said .
                " seeing the both of you today , made me realise of how good you looked together and her being your wife will weigh down your burdens of having a black woman in your life your a wife " she said .
This hit hard , like a sharp blade pierced deep in his heart .
As the memory bells rang in everyone's heads especially his , all the times he remained her of how she was black and lucky that he pitied  her hence giving her all the opportunity to live the good life .
Its now that he realises how heavy those were , how hurtful they were to her .

               " Valerie......" He rushed towards her . He stretched his hands hold her but she moved a side avoiding him .
Her eyes on his face , he was frowned a bit , his jaw muscles were bitten highly out shown .
His eyes lingering on her face as well , it was fear and pain on her face .
                " Are you ...... " he wanted to ask but the words were too heavy for him to alter out.
                 " i ...." She didn't know what to say to him . she moved another step behind away from him . Gently she raised her hand up covering her mouth with her fingers , tears were in her eyes . Her eye brows pulled in together in a frown
                 " I am so sorry Andrew " she breathed out heavily .
His eyes were red , pain painted over his face and body . She didn't have to speak for him to know , even if she was to deny , her body said other wise . He made steps backwards , many more till there was enough space between them .
                 " i am sorry Valerie " he said , his voice caught up with in .His head tilted froward , his eyes to the ground trying so hard hide his emotion .
                  " no ...no ...Andrew " she tried to say , her voice shaky .
                  " i am truly sorry Valerie" he said again , raising his teary eyes to her , his voice broken .
                  " have a good night Andrew" she said
                   " thank you , have a good one too " he said .
She turned immediately going up stairs , Andrew watched her go but he was in pieces . He can't blame anyone but himself for the fear that her body portrayed when he wanted to touch her . He had with held all the pain of her words but this was too much , guilt, pain , sympathy all that . Yet this is an achievement, this is still the first fight that ended physically peacefully , we its the best but cant fail to notice  and take pride in it .