A Feather Quill And A Thin Line.

Fire And Fuel. (chapter 16)

I walk to the door and open it seeing the tall man entering the livingroom his dark hair falling over the sides of his face perfectly as it contrasted with his pale skin. His dark clothes feathers behind him as he walks making him look dramatic.. Their was no denying how much I loved this man.. "Are you just going to stare at me or are you going to say something?.." he puts the pile of assignments onto his dark desk. Sitting into the chair. "Oh um.. I was just lost in thought I guess.." He rolls his eyes and grabs his quill. He was acting cold again. He must be in a bad mood.. Should I tell him about me cracking open the book instead?.. Would that be better then what I'm doing.. Keeping a secret?.. I deside to stick with my own plan and just made it look like I was going to get a cup of water.

A few months have passed and snape was out to a meeting with the dark lord. It's time. Time to destroy the book. I sneak to the girls bathroom without getting seen by any students that were skipping lunch and I throw it into a trashcan and I light it on fire with a spell. Making sure that the book is fully disintegrated. A feeling of relief and dread washes over me. I was hoping he doesnt ask about it. He hasn't bothered me about it as I kept saying that I haven't cracked it yet.. it hurts lieing to him and I could see that his patients is running thin. I have to make up a story and fast as I had sneaked back to snapes personal dormitory. I deside to take a shower to clear my head and think about what to tell him if he does when he comes back from lunch.

He had luckily not asked yet and had left a bit to another meeting. I hear a knock on the door the only person I could think of would be another teacher which would be okay to see me or Dumbledore so I had gotten up from my spot on the couch and opened the door seeing Harry. "Myrtle was right! The hell are you doing here y/n!" He said as he basically let himself into snapes dorm "Is snape holding you here why havent you tried to tell anyone you were here!?" I wave my arms no as if it was going to stop him from making accusations and quickly grabbed my quill and turned to a clean page.

(After long explanation but without telling him that snape was death eater- cause lazy-)
Harry shook his head "so then how did snape know you were there. It doesnt make sense." I sigh and shake my head not bothering to make up an excuse and I write down 'just dont tell anyone that I'm alive please. It could risk my safety.' When I showed him he kind of scrunched up his face into a slight scowl "I guess. But. If you need anything owl me." I nodded my head and soon shooed him out. And got back into my couch burrito to wait for snape to return like a little puppy.

I must have fallen asleep when he had came home because when I awoke I was moved to the bed and it was pich black outside. I get up and go to the livingroom seeing him on the couch.. He was drinking again. Finishing the bottle and setting it in the coffee table.  "Severus?" He huffs in responce. "Whats wrong?.." He grabs the glass bottle in responce taking it to the kitchen and throwing it away and opening the fridge grabbing another one. His slightly wabbled walk suggests that hes drunk. "S-Severus I think you've had enough"  He slammed the fridge closed making me jump.. "You dont tell me what you think is right... You dont know whats right." his speech was slurred a bit. He turns around subconsciously grabbing the end of the counter. His dark eyes were cold and sturn.. yet. I could still see the sorrow in his eyes.. the pain.. maybe because I know what it's like to suffer in silence. "Severus.. what's wrong?.." He was a bit taken back from the question his face shifting from clearly angered to slight shock. Then he started to think. I could almost see the thoughts in his head fighting eachother. So torn between himself that hes just constantly fighting. I take this moment to come closer... "you must be tired.. from being so strong all the time.. by being so sturn.." He looks down at me about to scold me but I continue "I know it is.. I've done it before.. bottling my emotions just like another potion.. but.. keep bottling them up in the bottle will bubble over one way or another.. You gotta empty it one day" I gently held his hand in mine as he furrows his brow a bit. "Come. Rest for a bit.. It'll do you some good... do you trust me?." He looks at me trying to read my mind.. He looked exhausted as he sighed a bit defeatedly letting go of the countertop when he does I lead him to the bedroom hearing him mudder under his breath 'the things you've done to me kid..' I brush it off as I help him take off his coat and I start to unbutton his shirt "hey!-" he grabs his shirt and scowls at me "the hell you doing!" I roll my eyes a little "I'm helping you into your pajamas. Get your mind out of the gutter professor" I lightly giggle as I gently took back the shirt getting the rest off as I saw out of the corner of my eyes severus snape blushing like a tomato. I smile as I grabbed his night shirt and helping the drunk man into it. I help him take off his shoes and I go to unbutton his pants when he pushes me away "I-I dont need your help with this one just just give me the pants." I nod in understanding and give him his night pants leaving the room. I get dressed into my own night wear. I cast a spell to have the clothes go and put themselves in the washer to be washed. I lay down on the couch and grab the blanket from onto of the couch I get into a more comfortable position as sleep took me as the warm blanket helped guide me to dream..

I awoke to arguing in the living room.. looking around I saw that I had been moved to the bedroom. I couldnt make out what who ever was arguing with snape about. I get out of bed and quietly made my way to the door but the argument had already silenced. Along with a floo from snapes fireplace. I open the door to see snape holding his head in an aggravated manner. "Severus? W-what happened?" He didnt move from his position. "Well.." he started to spit out with anger still dripping from his words leftover from the argument. "Since you were for some reason sleeping on the couch." He finally looked over clearly annoyed. "An unwanted guest flooed into here and saw you sleeping. If it wasnt for me being up you would have never woke up. So now the dark lord's going to know that your alive." I look down at my feet "oh.." Was all that I could say. "Why werent you in the bedroom and me on the couch. I thought I moved you to the bed." He stated as i shifted a little. "I um woke up to you drunk.. I I didnt want to have to make you sleep on the couch knowing how much pain and stress you were it I just thought I'd at least let you have a well deserved rest.." He looks away as I finish talking. "Oh... thank you.." I look over at him a bit shocked to hear him say thank you lightly smiling at his words.. he glanced at his wrist and sighs. "That must be him. Well then.. I have to go." He gets up and floos through his fireplace to the dark loads meeting.. I only hope he doesnt get into too much trouble or too hurt.. but the only think I can do is just wait..

He comes back hours later more upset then he was before. "Y/n." He starts. "Is there... something you want to tell me.. perhaps." I was a bit shocked by his question but it soon changed when he dropped a burned book on the coffee table. "Do you know.. what.. this.. is." He said sternly. Using the voice he'd use to descriptive children in his class. To intimidate them. It was really effective. I begain to sweat. Shit. I look up at him like a puppy who knew what they did was wrong. "Why was this in moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Moufoy found it.. still smoking.. do you know what this means.." He stares down at me. His eyes were masked over with a cold gloss. "I-I dont know severu-" He cuts me off "its professor snape.. to you... Dumbledore will have to have another proffessor watch over you. You need a closer eye on you and apparently I'm not as suitable as he thought." With his trust broken and my heart shattered he leaves his lounge most likely heading to the headmaster's office.. I look down at the charred book as an oh so familiar feeling started creeping it's way back.. I havent felt it in a while but it still knows how to pull me back into my empty shell.. It holds me in it's cold arms as it whispers in my head 'you should have told him from the beginning. You were just getting better when you just had to fuck it up. you always mess everything up. And its always your fault. Its now getting worse as another feeling creeps onto me. You should be punished for your wrong doing.. it says getting louder you need to be punished for your stupid actions. Your horrible actions! I hold my arms as the feeling gets worse.. I cant help it I have to.. I need to.. I go to the bathroom and lock the door. I get out my hidden friend. And I roll up my sleeves to reveal my healing scars. You deserve this. It says as I draw on my arm the pain drowning out my sorrows like a tv static drowning out silence. You deserve to be in pain. I bite my lip as I draw more.. and more..

Soon the voice had enough.. my arms hurt from the pain but I dont care.. I clean up the mess that I have made. He shouldnt have to see this. He shouldnt have to care.. I go ahead and pack my stuff. When I was done I had went into the living room to see snape and Dumbledore walk in. "Miss l/n.." Dumbledore started breaking the silence that had fell upon the two when I walked in on them coming in. "Proffesor snape told me that he thinks you need someone else to watch over you. We have one professor who has agreed to watch you while he stays here til we find a more permanent professor that has the time to watch over you." All his words though filled with kindness and slight sorrow just go right through me. Everythings a blur.. as he said that snape will take me tonight to go to the new professor.. I have until tonight to try and make things right.. if he'll even listen to me. I only nod my head in response as he takes snape outside to talk to him some more.. I sit down on the couch.. and wait..

((Happy new year sorry it's a little late I wanted to Wright a 2000 word chapter for you guys as a Christmas and new year gift of drama– but I hope this new year shows new opportunities and good luck from- the author))