Chapter 14- Diary

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July 10th (the day after Captain America welcomed me to the Avengers)

Feels weird honestly.... Wanting to be bad, but failing to want, and not wanting to be good and failing in that as well.

What's happening to me? I feel like I want  both good and bad... But I can't. I can't be a friend of an Avenger and be an enemy all at once.

These last few hours I have been offered a room with a bed, I lay in that bed right now... Restless and confused. I feel like I drank 15 coffees within each hour that passed with the hypertension I'm feeling.

Twisting and turning in bed didn't help to ease this feeling. A stride through the tower either.

Yet... The thought of being bad but good isn't the only thought that has crossed my mind from the second my palms touched the silk bed sheets...

It was him...

He was the one that made me want to be bad. But they were the ones that made me want to be good.

He crossed my mind every awakening second. But so did they... What would they think of me if I betrayed them like that? But... What would he think of me if I turned out to be his opposite when we were both the same.

Same desires, same passions, same feelings, same cruelty. But at the end of the day, it seems... That we had not the same courage after all.

I'd hadn't had the courage to say yes to him when he offered me to simply partner up with him... Feel the rush when we make mischief together.

But no... I turned his offer down, why? Oh, because I didn't want to be bad, but at the same time... I did.


Got this from tumblr

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Got this from tumblr... Dammnnn when his jaw does thatttttt

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