Trust [a. irwin]

thirty

hey this chapter is gonna be a lil different

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Ashton's P.O.V.

I've thought about just flying back to LA and showing up at Emma's house.

But I can't do that.

Everybody told me she's too distracting, they wanted us to leave and finish the album here.

She did distract me a lot, not in a bad way.

I miss her. It's only been a week, but knowing I'll probably never see her again, makes me miss her so much more.

Leaving her wasn't something I ever wanted to do. Telling her about leaving was something I couldn't do.

Em probably thought that I hate her when she read that note.

"Hey, Ashton, are you paying attention?" Luke questions.

"What? No, sorry." I mumble.

"I know you're trying to figure out this Emma stuff, but we need to get work on this album, come on."

"I can't, Luke."

He rolls his eyes, "Okay, you're the one who decided to not call her. You're the one who won't contact her at all, really. You decided to not tell her we were leaving."

"I'm stupid, okay?"

"I already know that." He mutters.

"I think I need to go home. I'm sorry, I'll get this done another day." I reply.

"Ashton..."

"I'm sorry." I whisper, getting up and heading out.

-

I planned on going back home, but I have to act like nothing's wrong around my family, so I went to Michael's.

"So, tell me why you can't go home?" He questions.

"If I tell my mum what I did to Emma she's going to be so disappointed in me."

Michael sighs, "I'm disappointed in you. You didn't tell us that's what you were doing."

The guys didn't know I left her a note. I went out the night before we left, they thought I was saying goodbye to Emma, but I didn't. I was the last to leave the house when we left, so nobody else saw the note. I told them on the plane what I did. They weren't too happy about it.

"I'm disappointed in myself. I miss her so much already."

"Then why did you fuck everything up?"

"Michael."

He groans, "Just call her."

"I can't do that!"

"Uh, yea, you can? You have a thing called a phone-"

I roll my eyes, "It's not like that. I just, I can't call her. I should just leave her alone."

"You're stupid. Call her."

"She hates me."

"She's going to hate you more if you don't contact her." He states, sitting next to me and handing me my phone.

I sigh, "I can't do it. Is she even awake?"

"Yes, she'd be awake."

"I-I'll do it."

I scroll to her contact, and just stare for a moment before calling.

It just rings and rings until I get her voicemail so I hang up and stare down at the phone again.