Trust [a. irwin]

thirty-three

Being in Australia is bittersweet. I've been waiting for the day I finally land in Sydney, but Ashton promised he'd be around to take me places.

I'm actually staying in a vacation home here, I love it. It's been one of the best places I've been.

Again, I've been doing things tourists would normally do. But I keep thinking about what Ashton would say and do if he were with me.

Currently, I'm making sure what I need is all in my purse before I head out.

I've decided I'm just going to do a lot of walking around today, it's going to be great.

Even though I know it's going to be hard when everywhere I look I'll be thinking about Ashton, but it'll be okay.

-

I've just been sitting in the grass at a park, reading over Luke's letter. It's one thing of him I'll always have.

'Hey, Emma, I don't know how to start this so here it goes.

I miss you. I miss you so much, I can't imagine how Ashton feels, but I don't need to talk about that. I want to talk to you. I need to. I wish you were with us. I've been thinking about you a lot. I know you're on your trip, I'm just hoping you're visiting home soon so you'll see this. Will you call me? One day? I really do miss you.

Things on tour have made me think of you. I remember some of the places you told me you wanted to go, when I was there I thought of you, and wished I'd see you.

I just really want you to know it wasn't Ashton's idea to leave early. He was forced to. Please don't hate him for something he really didn't have much control over. I'm so sorry, Emma. I love you so much, you're an amazing best friend even though we haven't talked in months.

Remember I love you, remember you're so beautiful and that you're and amazing person.

Love, Luke :-)'

I decide to call him, hoping it's not at a bad time, I have no idea where in the world he could be. We haven't talked on the phone for a while now.

"Hey, Em!" Luke exclaims, picking up right away.

I chuckle, "Hey, Luke."

"I'm so happy you called. When are you going to be in Australia? It's soon, right?"

I'm not going to tell him I'm already here. As much as I miss him I don't think seeing him would be a good thing.

"Yea, I'll be there soon. I'm assuming you're in Australia then?" I question.

"Yea, it's nice being home. Will you come see me when you're here?"

I sigh, "I don't know, Luke..."

"Please? Emma, come on..."

"I'm sorry. I don't think it's a good idea."

"So I'm never going to see you again?" He quietly asks, making my frown.

"Luke-"

"It's okay. If you really don't like us it's okay."

I give in, because there's no way I'd ever want Luke to be upset.

"No, Luke. I'm here. I'm in Australia right now. I miss you so much, come meet up with me, right now. Okay?"

"You're here?" He yells.

"I have been for a few days, actually." I reply.

"Where can I meet you? Em, thank you."

"I'll text you, see you soon."

-

"Emma! Oh my god, it's you, you're here!" Luke exclaims, crushing my in a hug.

I giggle, holding onto him tightly.

"Wow, it's you." He whispers.

"It's me." I smile.

He sits down, and I sit across from him.

"Okay, first, Ashton doesn't know you're here, right?"

"Right."

"Good. So how've you guys been doing? I've missed you so much."

"We're all great. I mean, Ashton is still upset over, you know. Michael actually brought you up a few weeks ago, Ashton got up and left. Touring went well, it was pretty fun."

I sigh, "How many girls did you fuck?"

He rolls his eyes, "Not that many."

I chuckle, shaking my head.

"It was fun for other reasons too. But how has your traveling gone? Is it what you expected it to be?"

"It's been even better."

"Australia's been your favourite, I know it."

"I've been here for four days, I still have a lot of time for it to be horrible." I reply.

"Hey, you won't have a horrible time here. Especially, since I'm going to be with you all the time."

"Luke..."

"You know you want to hang out with me all the time."

"You know that's not a good idea. I don't think we should meet up again."

He sighs, "Okay, I won't fight you on this."

Luke and I are sitting here, yet all I can think about is Ashton. He'd always tell me about Australia, he said he wanted to come with me.

We talked about it often, actually. I thought he was being serious, I guess it was lies too.

It's okay, it's fine.

"Oh my god. Em, Em we've gotta go."

"Why?"

Somebody clears their throat and I look up. When I see Ashton, I believe that I'm seeing things.

"Get away from me." I quietly say.

He sighs, "But, Em-"

"Ashton, I swear-"

"Please, please talk to me." He begs.

"Ashton, you should probably just go." Luke quietly says, not looking up at him.

"How did I end up running into you anyways?" I mumble, mostly to myself. In this whole city, I end up in the same place as him.

"This place is just like where we met." He quietly replies.

"You know what? I'm gonna go. Em, call if you need anything."

I nod, watching him quickly walk off.

"I'm not going to do this. I can't deal with this. You tore me apart and I really can't be around you." I whisper.

"Em, just come to my place, you can yell at me all you want, because I deserve it. Please, come talk to me. Nobody will be home until tomorrow."

"I don't trust you." I mumble.

"Don't say that." He whispers.

I sigh, not knowing what to do. I mean, all I want to do is yell at him, but I don't trust him.

"It's true. That fucking note ruined everything. The little bit of trust I had left for you was that you'd call. I trusted you enough to believe you'd actually call after your flight, and you didn't."

"But I did call."

"A week later, when I already was starting to try and get over you. Don't you understand I don't want you near me?"

"Emma, please, just come and talk about this with me." He sighs.

"You know what? Fine. I will come just so I can yell at you about everything I've felt in the past eight months."

"Let's go then."

-------

I lied. I've been able to get prewritten stuff put into one chapter so there u go. ur all cute as heck. love u so much.