Trust [a. irwin]

thirty-nine

"Here we are again. Saying goodbye." Ashton mumbles, his lips pressed to my forehead.

"I promise I won't pass out this time." I lightly chuckle, holding onto him tighter.

"God, I love you so much." He giggles, quickly pressing his lips to mine.

"I'm gonna miss you." I whisper.

"We'll be okay. I love you, my baby, don't forget it." He smiles.

"I love you, so fucking much. I can't stop saying it." I reply.

"Babe, I- I think you have to go now." He mumbles, looking at the time.

"Oh, yea, I guess I do." I frown.

"Don't worry, baby girl. I'll call you, I promise. I swear on everything that I will call you, trust me." He whispers.

I nod, giving him a weak smile.

As I begin to back away, he pulls me back to him, slamming his lips to mine.

Pulling away, I begin to sob.

"Oh, beautiful, don't cry. Please, don't cry. My heart breaks every time you cry." He whispers, pulling me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry." I choke out.

"It's okay, shh, it's okay. You'll go home and you won't be so nervous anymore. Everything will be okay. I'll call and I'll visit and we'll cuddle, okay?" He says, tearing up.

"Don't cry." I whisper.

"It hurts so much." He chokes out.

"We shouldn't be feeling this way. This shouldn't hurt us this much." I mumble.

"We just love each other too much." He chuckles through his tears.

"I should really go."

He nods, pressing a quick kiss to my lips, "See you soon, my love."

"See you soon." I whisper, slowly backing away.

He weakly smiles and I quickly walk off just so he doesn't see me crying again.

-

When I get off the plane, my dad and Britney are both waiting for me.

I run over to them, pulling them both into a hug.

"Emma, I'm so happy you're back." My dad smiles.

Brit squeals, "Em, we have so much we need to talk about!"

"I'll let you two catch up for a bit, okay? But I expect to see you later, Emma. I haven't seen you in a while."

Britney and I eventually make our way to get coffee, the two of us sit together and she stares at me, waiting for me to start talking.

"Come on! I haven't talked to you since I told you to give Ashton a chance, what happened?"

"Brit, I love him so much. He's the best boyfriend ever-"

"Boyfriend? Emma! My little baby Emma has a boyfriend! Ashton is your boyfriend!" She quietly exclaims, clearly excited.

"I'm really happy. I don't think I've ever been this happy before."

"I'm so happy for you. So, so happy for you." She smiles.

"I don't know how long this is going to last, but being this happy is amazing."

"How did it happen? Tell me, tell me!"

"Well I was just yelling at him every time I saw him, so when I called him to come over after talking to you, he thought I was going to yell at him again. We made out, I didn't yell. After we just kinda admitted to each other that we're in love. He asked me to be his girlfriend and everybody knows what my answer would be."

"I just said it, but I am so happy for you." She says, her smile not leaving her face.

"He's an amazing guy, I cried at some points because of how happy I was."

"So you guys are willing to work this out? Are you okay?" Brit questions.

"We're going to work this out. I'm okay with this. I love him, you know that." I tell her.

"I'm gonna take you home, okay? I know you probably have to call Ashton soon and your dad probably wants to talk to you."

I nod, getting up to follow her.

-

Sitting waiting for Ashton's call, I'm nervous. I just keep getting scared that it's going to turn out like last time.

I'm scared he won't call.

But when his name shows up on the screen, my worries go away.

I smile, "Ashton, hi."

He happily sighs, "Baby girl."

"I- thanks for calling." I whisper.

"I wasn't sure you'd pick up." He quietly replies.

I lightly chuckle, "It seems like we both need to trust each other more."

"I just thought you'd change your mind or something. I still love you, you know." He tells me.

"I love you."

"We've said it a lot, but I just really want you to know I mean it when I say it." He replies.

"I can't believe you're mine. I just wish I could hold you right now." He says.

"This is making me sad." I reply.

"Hey, don't be sad, we get to talk to each other, this is all we've got." He says.

"I already miss you, so much." I choke out.

"I'll be back soon. I promise. I'll see you so soon. I'll make sure I'm there for a long time."

"Ashton, you have a band to focus on... You can't just come out and see me whenever you want." I mumble, not wanting him to hear how close I am to crying.

"Em, this will work, okay? I love you so, so much. I will not lose you again."

"Ash? I'm gonna go, okay? I love you, so much." I reply, holding back my tears.

"Love, don't cry. I'll talk to you soon." He says, ending the call.

I finally let myself cry, but I get cut off by my phone ringing again.

"Emma, Emma, Em, Emma!"

"Luke?"

"Hey, Em!" He cheers.

"Uh, hey." I reply.

"Do you hate me? Did I do something? I'm sorry-"

"No, just a little sad." I mumble.

"Aw, have you talked to Ashton yet?" He asks.

"I did, it just made me sad knowing how far he is. Now I have nobody to cuddle with."

"I promise you two will be okay. You guys will text and call or something, you're going to be fine! I'm happy for you guys, you're going to work this out."

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"What are you afraid of? Em, I'm always here to help you. You can tell me anything, I would never tell Ashton if you didn't want me to."

"I'm so scared he'll leave me." I choke out.

"Oh, Em. He's never, ever going to leave you." Luke replies.

"I was just- I was so scared why it took so long for a call from him."

"He didn't tell you? Oh, he's probably just being dumb. I swear, he loves you. I gotta go now though, so I'll talk to you soon."

We quickly end the call and I end up drawing.

After about an hour my dad calls me, "Emma! Uh, can you come here!?"

I sigh, getting up and heading downstairs.

"What?" I ask, just wanting to go back upstairs.

"The door."

I roll my eyes as I walk to the door, and when I open it my eyes widen, "Ashton?"

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hey y'all this is almost over now