That Girl

Blog 422: My New Life

Hey guys it's Maya and I'm back with another blog. I know it's been a while, but these past six weeks have been a little hectic. I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, who for now I'll be referring to as my "ladybug" but don't worry I'll let you guys know her name and all of that a little later but just know my little lady bug's a fighter and is amazingly strong.

I finally turned 17 and let me tell you it wasn't anything special. Matty and Missy tried to make me feel better but the only thing I wanted to do was spend time with my ladybug in the hospital. She had to have 3 surgeries since she was born and as a mom, I wanted nothing more than to take her place. Matty and I went to the hospital earlier today thinking we were going to get to take her home, but that wasn't the case. Doctor Nahl said she wasn't gaining any weight and was having trouble eating without her feeding tube. Let me tell you guys that was probably the worst thing that could've happened to me. On top of that, I hadn't heard from Josh in weeks, and I assumed he couldn't handle the pressures and reality of my situation. I mean I couldn't blame him; I was 17, had 2 kids, and neither of them was biologically his.

Before I thought anything else could be worse, Missy finally told me the real reason Josh hadn't been by my side. Josh was in a car accident the night I gave birth. I mean he was on his way to the hospital to be with me and he got into an accident. I wanted to be so mad at Missy for not telling me all these weeks but as my best friend, I knew she didn't want to add anything more to my plate. I still can't help but be mad at her, I mean she knew I was worried about Josh not wanting to be with me and she knew the whole time that wasn't the case. But none of that mattered anymore, I was finally going to see Josh after 6 weeks, I was nervous but more importantly scared of what was going through Josh's mind, I mean he knew I had the baby or at least I think he did, but it had been 6 weeks and I hadn't been by to see him once. What if he was thinking the same thing I was, what if he was afraid, I didn't want to be with him? I walked but to Josh's room, and saw Lucas, he hugged me and gave the two of us some time.

Welp, that has been my life the past 6 weeks, I spend most of my days and nights at the NICU and school has been put on the back burner, but my grades are okay. Matty and Missy have been unimaginably supportive, and the only thing I can hope for is that Josh and I can talk and work this out and most importantly that my ladybug is going to be okay and will finally be able to come home with us. I'll keep you all updated on everything and hope someone is still out there reading this.