Of Gears and Humanity

| 12.1

[ELENA]

Taking in a trembling breath, I stared at my reflection as I lifted my dress up and over my head. Marleth, who stood at my side, caught my clothes before they could hit the ground. She folded them once before placing them on my dresser beside the window. When she turned back, she had my hiking attire in hand.

They weren't the ones I had worn the last two nights. These were white, to match my purity as a princess waiting to ascend the throne. But as I reached for the clothes in Marleth's hand, it felt like a lie to wear them.

I wasn't pure. I had lied. The steps I needed to take to become queen were taken out of order, and I'd only done it to prepare for my second quest; I was afraid of the Gate and needed to know I could do it. Now that I'd done it, touched it, I made matters worse by bringing something, someone, back with me.

"Can we get these made in red?" Holding the clothes to my chest, I stared at my reflection before glancing at Marleth. "I don't think I'm suitable for white."

"The color is not important, Elena." Marleth crossed her arms. "It is only your coronation."

I sighed. The color was important, and I knew Marleth was aware of why I felt like I did about it. My father wore white, as did my mother, but they were open and honest with each other the entire time. Not once had they lied.

And yet, here I was, preparing to take the first steps to find a stone I saw no meaning in—one of my first lies—and I was going to take the journey with a man not much older than me who had no knowledge of what he was walking into—unfair behavior on my part. The lies and my inability to be honest make wearing the clothes designed for me feel so wrong.

Marleth, as if she could read all of the emotions on my face, sighed as she took the top and bottoms of my outfit from me. She placed the pants on top of the chair on our right before she extended the top. She pulled off the strap and opened it so I could place my arms through the sleeves.

I did. Slowly.

"You need to do this, Elena." Marleth eyed me through the mirror's reflection as she lifted the sleeves higher up my arms and adjusted the shoulders so they fell neatly against my skin. "You were born into this family and this has been planned for you since that day."

"I know." I lifted my hands up above my head as Marleth looped around my front to wrap the leather straps over my waist. I sucked in a breath, then sighed. "But I haven't gone about this the right way. I've done it all backward."

Marleth eyed me before reaching for the pants she'd placed on the chair. Slowly pulling at the laced string at the top of it, eye cocked a brow. "No one told you to break the rules, Elena." She smiled right after, and laughed, too. I hadn't expected the reaction.

"What do you mean?" I asked, pressing one leg into a pant leg.

Marleth shook her head as she helped me with the other. "You were always a rebel," she said as she returned to my front, lacing the string around my waist. I dropped my arms back down to my side as she chuckled again. "Elena of the Lorian Empire never follows the rules, never listens to a single thing anyone tells her."

I laughed. If I were any other person, I would've taken offense. The belittling was unnecessary. But there was truth in every bit of it.

I wasn't a rule follower. My father placed every law to keep Homestead in place, even added extra on top of those created by the kings of old. Had I followed any of them? Never. I took pride in sneaking around the halls. My best memories of being a child were of the pranks I pulled while following after Marleth and Theo. The sound of endless giggles echoed in my ear.