Of Gears and Humanity

| 21.1

[ELENA]

There was nothing I could do. I watched Damien, prayed he'd make it out alive, but when the Attribution broke his sword, I looked away. My heart couldn't bear the possibility sight of death.

And if he died, so would I.

I was supposed to save him.

That feeling tugged at my chest as Theo forced me on the back of his horse, riding with such speed back through the forest. The guards followed close, barking orders at each other. The smoke seemed to follow us, trickling around the horses' legs. But once we were far enough and the air cleared, I squeezed Theo with all my might and cried.

His hand grabbed mine. He shushed me. But I was breaking.

The horses weaved around each other as we reached a clear path. I opened my eyes, catching the sight of Carmine running on his own beside us. "Carmine..."

"He's with us. Carmine is fine." As Theo pulled back on his horse's reins, slowing the speed. The path in front of was narrow. Three guards had gone ahead.

Glancing back at me as his horse switched to a slow gallop, Theo wrapped his hand around mine. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"No," I breathed.

I didn't know if he heard me. The world seemed to loud. The rush could have been my own heart, my regrets. I should have stayed by Damien's side, I could have helped somehow, any way possible.

Instead... I kissed him.

"Theo!" A guard returned, turning his horse beside us, matching our slowing speed. "The others had reached the King."

"And?" Theo straightened as I opened my eyes wide. "What is the word? Will he send aid for Damien? Will we turn around?"

I looked up at Theo. The fact that he was planning to head back and help Damien warmed me.

But the guard did not. He frowned. "The king is furious that we advanced in the first place. We're to continue to the castle and keep the Princess safe."

The guard looked back at me. "I am sorry for your friend."

A tear rolled down my cheek.

*

The grounds of the castle were loud. Every guard hurried through the halls, readying their weapons. They prepared themselves for the possibility of an attack.

That alone had my father on edge.

And it scared me.

"Elena..." My father pressed his hand was over his forehead as he faced the books of his study. His shoulders lifted, deep breaths. Shaky breaths. The anger he pushed out into the air filled the room.

Marleth sat in the chair beside me. Her hand reached under the table to grab mine. I looked at her, searching her eyes.

The amount of worry etched into her face made me sick. If only she knew the whole story...

My father turned his head, side-eyeing me. "Do you understand what you've done?"

My eyes widened. What I'd done? "Papa, I—" I wasn't the one who brought Attributions on our land. They came on their own accord.

They came to get Damien.

Before I could even finish my sentence, I lowered my head. The look Damien had given as I ran out of the forest plagued me. The corners of my eyes burned with tears.