My Heart (WangXian)

Ch. 8 Clueless

A/N Let's get this chapter going. We will have Lan Sizhui's POV as well as Jin Ling's POV for the first time. I will also be doing something weird with Lan Zhan's POV and Wei Ying's POV for a bit cause I want to show their POV of the same thing as close to at the same time as I can it will eventually go back to normal. Mostly. We will see some desires and cluelessness. Hope you all enjoy.

Lan Sizhui's POV

We are standing around at the docks. The plan is to go to Yunmeng and Lotus Pier. Though I wonder will that be safe for Master Wei since Sect leader Jiang hates him. I hope that he wont try to kill him. Though I know Bàba wont let that happen. Still I dont want there to be a war. The ghost general is with us though he seems to be uncomfortable. It must be at the amount of people that either fear him or want to destroy him. Is it possible for him to die again? He notices me. "Young master Lan thank you for fighting with me earlier. What is your name?" He says and asks in a nervous way. People are scared of this man? "My name is Lan Sizhui." I tell him and he smiles at me a bit. I give a bit of a smile back. "You shouldn't even exist! Wei Wuxian shouldn't have even brought you back from the dead especially with how. He choose a truly evil way to bring you back from the dead!" A familiar voice calls out in anger. I turn and look. Its Jin Ling he looks so angry. Even though he is he still looks cute. But I can still take his anger seriously especially the type of Anger I see in him right now. "I didnt mean to kill your Bàba young master Jin. I wasnt in control.." the ghost general stammers. "Of course not you're a fucking puppet! Your master Wei Wuxian made you kill him. But still you should die for what you've done!" Jin Ling shouts and unsheaths his sword Suihua. And comes closer to the ghost general. "Young Master Jin Ling while your anger is understandable you're angry at the wrong person." Master Wei says suddenly coming over to us. Jin Ling points his sword at Master Wei. Should I do something? Where is Bàba? Master Wei just looks straight at Jin Ling not afraid. "Your anger is understandable just not expressed at the right time. I helped rescue you just now. For now let it go. Let go of it." Master Wei says. "I wont let go of it! This is my Bàba's sword. I wont let go!" Jin Ling cries out as he drops to his knees holding Suihua starting to cry. Oh baby! I fight with myself. I'm dying to go to him and take him in my arms. I want to comfort him. To hold him. But I have no idea if he would let me. I have no idea what his preferences are. Which way his heart leans to. But his tears are breaking my heart. Let me love you. I watch him continue to cry. "So he can feel other emotions besides anger weird." Jǐngyí says. I glare at him. "Shut up Jǐngyí just shut up!" I say and punch him hard in the chest. "Oww! What was that for Sizhui?" He asks. Leave my baby alone! "Leave him alone." I say venom in my voice. And Jǐngyí looks at me confused. But honestly I couldnt careless. I look back towards Jin Ling on the ground still crying. Oh my baby boy it's okay. It's okay. "Jin Ling! Who made you cry? And why are you crying you are 16 years old! Stand up." Says Sect leader Jiang. What the heck does your age have to do with it? Has Jin Ling never been allowed to cry? Jin Ling slowly stands up. Wipes away his tears as he tries to stop crying. He sheaths Suihua. And forces himself to stop crying. And tries to make himself like a stone at least in the face. But Bàba is the only one I know that is good at it. Your eyes speak. And Jin Ling's are speaking alot. I still have the urge to take him in my arms and hold him. "Everyone let's go. Everyone get on a boat. That includes you too Wei Wuxian." Sect leader Jiang says to Everyone and the last to master Wei. Master Wei and Bàba gives him a look."I'm not going to try to kill you." He says. "Well that's good." Master Wei says with a slight smile. Bàba face of stone. Gives a look that says 'Doesnt mean you're out of danger.' I watch Master Wei, Bàba and the ghost general get on a boat. I follow Jin Ling on another boat. Jǐngyí and young master Ouyang Zizhen as well as other Lan junior disciples follow me. Jin Ling looks at us surprised. As he had many friends? He sits down on a bench and I sit beside him unable to help it. Jǐngyí sits on my other side and young master Ouyang Zizhen sits on the other side of Jin Ling. Though he doesnt sit as close to him as I am. Jin Ling looks at me and I look back at him. Then he looks down gribbing Suihua. I reach out and place a hand on his knee.