My Heart (WangXian)

Ch. 3 Back to life

A/N Even though most of it was sad and painful I hope all of you enjoyed the second chapter. And though this chapter will have some happy things in there will still be some depressive themes and mentions of self harm. So *trigger warning." Also I marked the story as mature I will not give warnings if there is smut whether mild or heavy. I'm just going to assume all of you are old enough to read it since it is an mature book. Also we will start alternating the POVs between Lan Zhan and Wei Ying. Both of their POVs may get a bit dark until they realize ( by they I mostly mean Wei Ying) that their happiness is there in the form of the other. I know it's a bit dark but that's how I saw their story dark until they found the light in each other. I hope you all enjoy.

16 years since Wei Ying has died

I am taking a break from helping the juniors train with their spiritual swords. I'm just walking along. When suddenly there is a pang in my heart and suddenly my heart pounds in an unfamiliar rhythm. I reach up and clutch my chest where my heart is. What's this why is this happening? Something is definitely very different now and I dont know what that is. It actually kind of hurts. I decide to go rest in Jingshi. I sit on the floor and get in position to meditate. Hopefully meditating will help. Then I close my eyes and begin.

Some time later

Meditating did help a bit. It no longer hurts at least not much it mostly feels strange. I wonder what has or is causing it. The juniors, Sizhui have left to do some cultivating. They are going to Mo manor of the minor clans Mo. They are having some problems. But that's really all I know about it. I'm sure the juniors will do a thorough investigation and do what needs to be done. I have faith in them and their abilities. And I'm sure Sizhui will do well. I still have the feeling that something is different though I'm not sure what. I go to the Back Mountain to see the rabbits. A Ying and A Wangji  have since died. It had made me sad that his gifts had passed. But they lived as long as average rabbits do in their natural habitat only with gentle care from people. And A Ying did manage to give A Wangji two offspring before they died. A black and white rabbit with A Ying's energy and A Wangji's wisdom that I named A Xian and a white female with Wangji's calm still demeanor. I named her A Bik(jade). I presented them with their own hand made by me head ribbons. Though it took awhile A Bik is the first to find a mate. It was surprising to me to find her mate was a grumpy male rabbit prone to fits of violence with other males especially A Xian. But I have observed that the grumpy male is very loyal and protective of those he cares about. And he will attack others in defense of A Bik. So I guess her mate isnt all bad. A Xian hasn't officially found a mate yet. But I notice he has been teasing this other male relentlessly. The other Male rabbit who is calm and often rigid like will try to avoid A Xian but I notice never goes very far from him. Then I watch as A Bik's grumpy mate attacks A Xian for some reason. And that normally calm and rigid like rabbit jumps in to defend A Xian. "Cant help it can you?" I ask the rabbit. He is drawn to A Xian and has a need to protect him. I can relate to the male rabbit's feeling. I wonder if I should name him and A Bik's grumpy mate. I'm not sure yet. I watch the calm rigid like rabbit fight against the grumpy rabbit to protect A Xian. I have a feeling that A Xian has found his mate at last. Though he has teased him relentlessly for quite awhile. A Ying, A Wangji your children are doing well. I think of the two. When A Ying died suddenly out of the blue one day. I can tell that A Wangji was heartbroken. He kept going and sitting at places that A Ying loved to be. But he wasnt at peace. And about a month later I found A Wangji laying down in the spot that A Ying had been found a month before. He was gone. I didnt have the heart to burn A Ying when he had died so I buried him near the back cottage since he and A Wangji often liked to visit me there when I was in seclusion. So when I found A Wangji I took him gently and buried him next to A Ying. I set up a simple marker for them. Though they had lived a pretty long life for rabbits I was still sad to see them go. They were his gift to me. Now they are gone. At least there are A Xian and A Bik. I also still have the drawing that he drew me all those years ago. I have kept it safe in a hidden place. Just like that pornographic book that I had ripped apart in front of his eyes and secretly put back together. That's also in a hidden place in Jingshi. I have many secrets.