Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 27: Her

My eyes slowly opened the moment I realized that my phone is ringing but closed it back again as I feel the comfortable bed sheet I'm laying on. After a few minutes, I realized again that this isn't all a dream anymore, and someone out there is actually trying to reach out to me for calling non stop for the past thirty minutes already. I've been half awake, but I just like to think that everything's just a dream. I haven't got much sleep yet.

I sat up and squinted my eyes as my hands rummaged for my phone on the bedside table provided. My head feels heavy and light at the same time, and I feel like I'm going to throw up in any time soon although I'm not even drunk. I've been staying up waiting patiently for stupid late night calls and text, and I don't even know why I let my stupid system take over my mind. I feel like I'm not even thinking anymore about it, and I'm just letting myself go with it. I'm completely aware that what I might be doing is wrong, and even though I have all the reasons to stop myself from doing it, I just can't. I don't know. I just feel like that that's just how far things between us could get, and I just can't let it slip away from my hands anymore unlike before.

For the ninth time around, Karen's name flashed through my phone screen that made me roll my tired eyes as I slide the screen to answer. I'm still trying to process all the things that could possibly make her call me nonstop early this morning and I can't seem to find any. What could be up?

"Yeah?" I groaned, my raspy morning voice probably startling her.

"Kristen, darling." Karen replied, making me roll my eyes again as if she could see me. I just hate it when she calls me with the "darling" thing. "We've got work today."

Absentmindedly, I suddenly fell off the bed with the entire comfortable blanket covering my face as the realization started hitting me. I tried standing up but stepped right on the sheets once more, making me trip and stumble on the carpeted floor of my hotel room. My phone slip out of my hands, and my elbow hit something that made me grunt from pain.

"Fuck." I muttered angrily, making my way to pick up my phone.

Why do I have to be in so much panic?

"What happened?" Karen asked a little loud through the line, worry and care evident on her tone.

I shrugged and laughed. "I tripped. So uhm," I paused, just because I felt the need to compose my words, afraid that I might say something that I should not. "Where would the shoot be?"

"The band arrived last night and they're staying at this hotel too." Karen said over the phone, and right after hearing those words, my mind went over things again that made me ignore the things that Karen is still saying.

Maybe that's why he didn't text me last night.

Why am I not used to it, though?

Because it's different this time, my mind kicked in.

I shrugged.

"I'll wait for you on the hotel lobby. Better be ready in fifteen minutes."

I dropped the phone call and felt the need to slam my entire lazy and tired body back onto the comfortable bed once more. I buried my face onto the pillow and let out the loudest scream I could ever make, but it was completely inaudible because of the pillow. I turned over, making my back pressed against the bed this time, and my eyes all focused on the ceiling. After a week that felt like ages, I'm going to work again with the people I never expected I'd ever be associated with again. I'll be dealing with those four immature boys again, and I suppose there wouldn't be an hour that Ashton and I wouldn't fight. As the thought of seeing them again run through my head, I couldn't stop being anxious and worried about it. I completely don't understand though, I mean, I feel like I have intimidated them already, and that was one of my evil little plans. The day I found out that I'd be working with them for the amount of months that I'm not even sure yet, all I thought about was my job and nothing else. But then the moment we all started working, a nostalgic weird feeling hit right through me. I feel like I found my old self again, that I have tried getting rid of for the past months, A part of me doesn't even like it, but a huge part of me has been missing it as well. I always say hat I hate them, yet I don't feel like I have to be someone else when I'm around those boys. I may have stopped talking about them being my best friends, but I guess there is no way or any chance that I would ever forget that they've been a great part of my life. I closed my eyes, shaking my head as I face my right side. Why am I coming up with these kinds of thoughts? I never wanted anything to be complicated, not anymore.