Fading (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction; Sequel to Pretending)

Chapter 6: Her

2 weeks after

“Hi.” I said, my voice cracking, making every single move I make seem to be very hard to be done.

“Uh, hi Cal. So uhm I just got back home from work, and I thought maybe I should make a call and I did, but unfortunately I think you’re busy.” I paused and sighed lightly, slowly moving to my couch to rest my tired aching back against it.

“I hope you’re doing well, please at least try to call or text me back when you get the chance. I miss you so much. I love you.”

I put my phone off of my ear and just stared at it as I ended the voicemail. It’s been two days since we last talked to each other, and the previous phone and video calls were all short and somehow felt awkward for some reason I don’t know. I know Calum’s really busy with all this tour and a lot more stuff going on with his life at the moment. That’s something I can never change. But I can’t just stop myself from wishing that even a little time, just a little time, he’ll make up everything to me. I don’t know why he’s becoming so distant and cold. I don’t understand why it seems like he’s not even trying to work this out with me. We are always getting connected only through late night phone calls and text, that always end up to be short because one of us will either be sleepy or tired. I know and I understand that it’s really difficult to deal with all this shit happening right now including the time and the distance, but I hope he won’t let all those things stop him from interacting to me. It’s not easy to talk through broken lines.

I was staring blankly at my window when a knock from my door started interrupting me. My eyebrows furrowed, having my mind rummage through my memory about who could this person be. I know I’m not expecting anyone to come and visit me this afternoon and I’d be really stupid to think that this is Calum. I walked immediately to the door and opened it, getting relieved by the familiar smiling face that welcomed me.

“Dinner?” Zac smiled widely, automatically making me do the same.

I gestured him to get inside my messy apartment, carrying paper bags filled with food that I know for sure, I’ll like. His head keeps on turning in each and every corner of my place, obviously trying to observe everything that he would see. I tried to do the same thing, making me end up just scrunching my nose at the sight that just hit with a realization. I need to do some cleaning, I guess. But I suppose that all the gods and the goddesses in this life know how much I hate cleaning and how a lazy turd I could be.

He sat down on my couch, probably trying to make himself comfortable and warm enough. I remained standing where I was, not knowing exactly what to do next. It’s Zac first time being here in my apartment, and probably the other guy who have been here except for my three best friends and Calum. I’m not much into visitors, and I clearly don’t know what to do or what I’ll say to Zac, but I just can’t shoo him away just because I am an awkward human being who doesn’t know how to talk to actual real life people. Or maybe I do. I just feel weird, having these stupid thoughts in my head that I shouldn’t have him here, inside my apartment. But he’s just a friend anyway. It’s not too bad to at least have someone I can talk to.

“Nice place.” Zac stated with a smile, surprisingly sending me chills for some reason I don’t know. I looked away from his eyes and focused to the food. Maybe that’s something I could work on.

“I’ll uh- I’ll just take these on the kitchen and I’ll be back so we can uhm, eat.” I stuttered, hoping so bad I didn’t sound really weird and awkward.

“Oh yeah okay sure.” He replied, handing me all the food.

“Make yourself at home.”

I hurriedly walked down the hall and made my way to my kitchen. I need some air, I somehow thought. I never had this weird feeling around Zac, and it’s really creeping me out that he’s starting to have this freaking weird effect on me. We’ve been working for almost half a year already, and this hasn’t happened before. I rested my whole body onto the door frame of my kitchen as I closed my eyes while trying to relax myself. Why am I even freaking out? For fuck’s sake Kristen, it’s just Zac. I need to get my shit together. I tried to put in mind that maybe I’m just feeling a bit uneasy having him here for the first time.