A Significant Decision

Chapter 19

As I went home, everything slowly sinks in one by one. The memories, the pain, the happiness, the smell of heartaches. Home.

3 years is like a lightning. Here we are again, back to where it all began.

Sana ganon lang kadali kalimutan ang lahat. Pero hindi. Leaving left a big void in my heart and i feel lost.

“Accept it”... The words i keep saying and mumbling to myself for 3 years. Too cliche.

But how can I?

Doon sa tatlong taon ba? Binisita nya ba ako? Hindi, and by that i know he already moved on. Sabagay, anong mapapala sa wala?

I cant blame anyone, because im here because of me. Because of my stupid decisions. And it makes me sick knowing that its all mg fault. I should take the blame. I lost Kehan because of my stupidity and here i am now thinking i still deserve to be happy? I lost someone who is willing to give his all to me. Someone who loves me, someone who will do everything for me to be happy. I lost someone precious too be hurt. I made someone slept with some other woman. And i should take all the blame.

I lost someone because i was hoping someone will take me back? Stupidity to its highest level.

The next morning when i woke up, mom was calling me downstairs because Venn was here.

“Can you please take care of Pat today? Today lang please?” bungad ni Venn sakin. Ano ba naman yaaan !

“Ano ba Venn and aga aga ! Hoy hindi ako umuwi dito para mag baby sit---” she was showing me her dumb pa cute face. I later agreed. “Okay fine ! When will you go home ba? Ikaw ha pag natagalan ka sasapakin kita. Ano bayan !”

“Yess promise !” she said with sparkle in her eyes. “I left her milk and clothes already to tita. I love you byeeeee” she said hurriedly. San ba punta non? Hays

Me and Pat had breakfast. Mom had to go so kaming dalawa ang naiwan dito. She looks like her dad. Lucky Venn.

I took a picture and posted it to my Instagram story. So many of my friends replied asking if nakauwi nadaw ako. Duh hindi ba obvious?

I struggled making her sleep because she really wanted icecream. I promised baby Patt we will get one if she sleeps. And she did so, Hahaha ! Angkyuuuttt!

I slept with her because i was sleepy na rin. When we woke up, its already 3pm. I woke her up for us to have some walk in the park, bibili kami ng icecream as i promised. I dressed her up and we went there.

As soon as we arrived. I let her play with some other kids and no longer, nadapa agad. Ano bayan! Hahahahaha.

She didnt cried. She is like her mom, strong.

Pinunasan ko yung dirt sa clothes nya and asked her if she wants icecream. We bought one immediately. Pinaupo ko sya sa corner noong umorder ako.

“Baby, dyan kalang ha? Just sit there okay? Dont move please. Tita will just buy ‘ayshkwem’” i said with a sweet voice.

Pumila na ako to buy icecream. Medyo natagalan dahil madaming bumibili. For sure she will throw tantrums kapang sinama ko dito sa pila. I checked on her everytime, and for sure hindi naman sya aalis.

I got our orders and bumalik doon sa bench. But when i got there, there was no baby pat. I started to panic and check every benches. Linibot kona lahat pero wala.

PATAY. AKO. NITO. KAY. VEN!!!!

Pat doesnt know how to speak. The only word she can say is “Mama”. But Ven said she can understand with hand gestures.

I was panicking and shaking, checking every bench expecting to see baby Pat.

Humingi na ako ng tulong aa guards to find her.

Sa dami ng tao at bata dito ay mahihirapan akong makita sya. Its been 7 minutes. I got dizzy and sat, praying.

I was about to cry then suddenly someone patted my head. I looked up and saw.... Pat with a man. Deveraux.

NO !!!!

This is a dream, right?

I was about to cry, when Dev asked.

“Is this your daugheter? She keeps on saying ‘mama’ and seems like finding someone. When she saw you, she clapped her hands”

“I didnt knew you had one”