No matter how hard you try (Licorice cookie x reader)

I saw a very hot licorice drawing, just thought you would like to know (p8)

(Song is I deserve to bleed by sushi soucy.Finally out of the deltarune music spot lol)
(⚠️this chapter will be more angsty, and will cover some more serious topics listed below. I'd say skip this whole chapter if you don't want to see it, but I will still put a warning where it starts. The song also discusses the same topics, so take care of yourself, drink some water and get some fresh air, I love you all <3 and if you want something more light hearted, I will have a chapter of headcanons so yeah⚠️)
⚠️implied self harm⚠️
⚠️body dysmorphia⚠️
LICORICE POV
Why am I so terrible
I constantly see everyone around me happy, they seem joyful
I see people around me who seem happy
I see laughter
I see smiles
I see EVERYONE HAPPY
I see people who couldn't care less if I died
I see people who shun me
I see people who hate me
I see my mistakes
I see my shortcomings
I see my fear
My hurt
My suffering
My inferiority
Everything wrong with me
Everything right about other people
Everything keeps on falling apart
I keep trying
But nothing fits together
Nothing seems right
Everything
...
...
Everything seems...
...
Off.
...
...
Ha
...
...
Haha
...
...
Hahaha, I overreact a lot. Don't I?
Whenever any minor inconvenience happens, I just spiral.
Maybe if I were stronger, it wouldn't be like this.
Maybe if I were smarter, it wouldn't be like this.
Maybe if I were better...
...
...
It wouldn't be like this.
...
...
...
I need to get out of this room.
As I make my way to the door, I look back on y/n and poison, who seem to be asleep. A small smile makes its way onto my face, before I walk out of the door.
⚠️⚠️⚠️
I slowly make my way down the hall to the bathroom, and lock myself in it. I quickly look around, before making my way up to the mirror. As I stare at my own reflection, and hating every second of it. I over analyze every part of my face.
God, I'm so unlovable. Staring at myself, loathing every second, narcissistic, isn't it?
Slowly, I take of my heavy robes, and just stare... down at my body, and back up to the mirror. I couldn't take it,
I hate how my body seems to change every time I look at it
I hate how I don't actually know how I looks
I hate how I constantly compare myself to others
I hate...
I hate myself?
Everything about me is terrible
My thoughts
My feelings
The way I look
The way I see things
Everything
Everything
Everything
...
...
...
...
The only thing I deserve...
Is to bleed
...
...
God I'm embarrassing.
I can't even stand to look at myself.
I can't even stand to look at others
I can't even stand to see anyone happy
I can't even stand to see myself happy
...
...
...
Maybe the bathroom wasn't a good idea either.
I slowly slip on my robes. Tying a knot in the front. As I start to leave, I take one last look in the mirror. I take one last look at myself...
My disgusting self...
I slowly open the door, looking around to make sure no one has seen me leave my room, and then make my way back.
                       ⚠️⚠️⚠️
                      End of tw
As I enter in my room, I see y/n and poison, in the same position they were in when I left. The same smile that was on my face when I saw them the first time arrived again, but this time, it stayed.
I don't know if it was because I got all of my feelings out, or the...
I'm reluctant to say this but...
Cuteness...
of the image in front of me, but my smile stayed.
It was nice to say the least. As I made my way back onto my bed, I turned off my MP3 player, set it on my nightstand, and turn out the light, Trying to take a nap myself.
Hoping for the best nightmare ever, to be over
_________________________________
GAAHH, sorry for the short and kinda angsty chapter!! Though I've had time off school, I've still been kinda busy, so I apologize!!