Little Miranda Daveed DiggsxReader

Panic Attack

A/N: ⚠️ this chapter discusses panic attacks and anxiety.⚠️

The next day I was finishing sewing James Madison's costume. It was the first costume that I actually started sewing. Lin designed the majority of it the other night when we he stayed late.

They started actual rehearsal 4 weeks ago. So I haven't really had any distractions which isn't the best thing in my opinion. It means that I've just been working and working and working non-stop for days without end.

I would have to call in a few people every once in a while just to size them, then they'd go back to rehearsal. It's been lonely. I get to the theater at 8:00 a.m. leave at 10:00 p.m. I always stayed late and always arrived early. I took my own car. I was always alone. I didn't even eat much most days.

I was just so tired and anxious. I felt like I wasn't getting anything done.

I was leaning over my desk trying to calm myself down. I felt a panic attack coming on but that couldn't happen. Not here. Not now.
I didn't know how to handle them on my own.

All of a sudden I heard a knock at the door.

It was Anthony.

"Hey Y/N, we're going out to lunch, do you want to come with us?"

My hands started shaking and I broke out in a light sweat.

"A-Anthony..can you get Lin f-for me please?"
I said. He knew that something wasn't right. I was stuttering, and my words were shaky.

"Yeah of course." He said.

I sat down in my chair and started clenching my fists. Digging my nails into my skin.

Lin came rushing in the room and closed the door. He knows what it's like when I panic, he knows how to handle it.

I was a mess. I started crying and breathing heavy. I felt so out of control. That's when it started to get really bad. Everything in the room was spinning and I got lightheaded.

"Hey hey hey. Okay, put you head in between your legs and your hands on your head okay?"

I could barely hear Lin over the ringing in my ears. My heart was pounding.

Lin put his hands over mine and his head over his hands.

"Y/N it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay I promise."

"Deep breathes. Deep breathes. In through your nose and out your mouth."

I sat up and Lin hugged me.
My heart rate didn't slow down, neither did my breathing. I wasn't calming down and it was stressing me out more.

"Y/N listen to my voice. I'm right here. You're safe."

All of a sudden someone walked in the room and rushed to my side.

I was closing my fists tightly. I felt Lin shift away from me and another person started hugging me and I knew who it was immediately. Daveed. My Daveed.

He started stroking my hair and rubbing my back.

"Y/N you'll be okay."

My heart rate slowed. My grip on my own hands loosened.

Lin's POV:

I could only watch what was unfolding in front of me. Something was definitely going on between these two.

But I couldn't be mad about it. He cared about her. I refuse to let them date. Not because I  don't want Y/N to be happy. But because I need to keep things professional. If something were to happen I can't risk that tension.

I won't confront them about it. Y/N's an adult and she can make decisions for herself.

Daveed's POV:

I just wanted to help her. I never thought that seeing her upset would hurt me so badly yet here we are. I have panic attacks. Not as bad as Y/N's but moral of the story is I know how to calm people down.

I didn't even know that she got panic attacks. She never told me. I don't know why.

She was calming down when I looked up at Lin. He was looking back at me. I felt guilty. But I couldn't explain it to him right now. I looked back down at Y/N and she was calmed down. Her hands were crossed behind my neck. With her forehead leaning against my chest. I just hugged her tighter.

Lin subtly nodded at me, and then left us, alone in the room.

Your POV:
I calmed down. Finally. Thanks to Lin and Daveed.

"You need a break. I'll talk to Lin about getting you a few days off okay?"

"No, Daveed I need to get the costumes done."

"We don't need them right this second okay. I'm not letting this happen again."

"Fine."

"Come to lunch with us, then go home. And I'll talk to Lin for you. Deal?"

"Deal."

I looked up at him and he kissed me. I wiped my tears and that's when he noticed my hands.
They we're bleeding.

"...Y/N."

I didn't realize what he was talking about until I looked at my palms.

"Daveed it's fine. This happens all the time, I'm fine."

"No we need to get this cleaned up because we don't need these getting infected."

—

We walked to the bathroom in Daveed's dressing room and I sat on the sink while he grabbed the first aid kit.

He stood in front of me and started cleaning the scars on my hands.

"How long have you been having panic attacks."

"Since I was 17." I responded.

"How did you know how to calm me down." I said.

"I also get panic attacks. Not as bad as that, but I have methods." He said, still cleaning my hands.

"Is there anything else I should know about you before we move on in this relationship."
He asked.

"Relationship?"

"You know what I mean. Don't try to change the subject."

"Do we have to have this conversation right now. And aren't we supposed to be going out to lunch with the rest of the cast?" I said.

"I texted the group chat, told them to go without us."
He said as he finished cleaning the scars on my hands.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to spend time with you. You can come to my apartment, you can spend the night."

"What about Lin."

"What about him?"

"Okay, whatever. I'll go with you."

He put his hands on my hips while I put my hands on the back of his neck and we shared a passionate kiss. One that made sparks fly and fireworks explode in my stomach.

"Alright let's go to my apartment."