The Librarian's Daughter (Ryuji Suguro x Reader)

16) SHE IS EXASPERATED

𝒮𝐻𝐸 𝐼𝒮 𝐸 𝒳 𝒜 𝒮 𝒫 𝐸 𝑅 𝒜 𝒯 𝐸 𝒟

Two months and nothing happened. Nothing out of the extraordinary, every day of learning just passed in a flash. It was a peaceful time for True Cross academy's students - not necessarily for the exorcist exwires, but which ordinary mortal did happen to know about this strange and isolated world? (Name) got to support Ryuji with his studies on exorcism (she was like a walking library regarding this field) and he continued helping her with her math problems.

Peaceful, everything was just peaceful.

Until, one fateful day...

... (Name) broke down in class. Her classmates didn't notice right away, but Bon could see the tears streaming down her face from afar already. His expression got more worried with each tear that ran down her fragile face, but somehow his body wouldn't move - he wasn't able to stand up and help her, god knows why. The sound level in the classroom decreased more and more because of the handed out exercise sheets until everyone could eventually hear how the girl desperately tried to muffle her sobs. Face in her hands and head on the table, her shaking figure got stared at by every confused pupil.

"... (Name)?" Ryuji had finally walked over to his friend and put his warm hand on her trembling shoulder. His voice was a careful whisper in the anxious silence of the room. "Come one, let's get you out." The boy gave his teacher an asking look who gave a nod as an answer immediately.

And so, he cautiously moved his right hand to her other shoulder and helped the girl stand up. She dragged her feet and held tightly onto Ryuji's sleeve, the latter guiding her out of the classroom she felt so trapped in lately. The wooden door got closed with a soft click and the crying sounds of the poor girl retreated more and more from everyone's ears.

✧ ✧* . . ✧ *✧ ✧

Once they were out of the aisle and moved to an empty corner of the building, (Name) couldn't contain it anymore and wrapped her pained arms around the boy's neck. Ryuji's body stiffened in shock, clearly not knowing how to handle the situation.

"I'm so sorry," she screamed on top of her lungs before falling on her knees, burying her tear-covered face in her hands. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sor-"

But she couldn't speak much longer since Suguro literally threw himself over the girl, wrapping his trained arms around her body in the process.

"What are you so sorry for, (Name)?!" he almost shouted as he couldn't process the situation. "Why are you crying?" he sounded more distraught towards the end, his face getting more pained with each second he could feel the girl tremble against his body.

One sob. Three cries. Four screams. And two hands that caressed the female's back while she screamed all of her agony out. It was a really displeasing sound, especially for Suguro's ears - he loved nothing more than seeing her laugh after having been in so much pain and grief for so long. The minutes passed slowly until the girl's whimpering got quieter and quieter - eventually, this empty room was filled with the same silence in which one could find it at the beginning.

Ryuji had a hard time to not kiss his friend's forehead as an attempt of comfort. Instead, he pulled (Name) closer to his body until both of them finally calmed down fully. As he gradually tried to break from their kneeling position, the girl shook her head against his torso, and so they stayed the way they were.

Bon tried to ask his previous question again, but a bit differently.

"(Name)?"

She gave a soft hm? in response, waiting for him to continue.

"What are you sorry for?" Suguro rested his chin on her head now, the soft texture of her hair feeling nice against his skin.

(Name) sniffled before answering and now it was her who attempted to pull away - succeeding, of course.

"I'm sorry for...," she paused as she tried to sort her thoughts. Her eyes darted across the room before staring deeply, passionately, into Bon's hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry for myself having to see these awful creatues. I'm just making them up, nobody sees them expect me," the girl talked quickly, "I'm sorry for you having to deal with me and my problems, I'm sorry for my father who will rot in prison until the end of his life, I'm sorry for...," she exhaled, "for too many things. Useless things I'm thinking about."

I'm sorry for liking you.

Before tears even had the chance to form in her eyes again, Ryuji's lips were pressed against the girl's forehead, the scratchy stubbles of his chin beard making it completely obvious he was kissing her right now.

The librarian's daughter's breathing hitched only for the shortest moment - it didn't take long until Suguro pulled away. It wasn't meant in that way, obviously.

"(Name)," he began harshly, but with that subliminal care she had studied so well the past months, "don't ever apologize for things like that again. Understood?" Ryuji's eyebrows were furrowed as he clutched each of her arms with his hands.

"Bu-"

"I'm so, so glad I pulled you out of that library and you should be happy about that, too," he bit his lip. "Have you had these guilty feelings for as long as your father got sentenced to life in prison?"

As an answer, the girl shook her head slowly with a sad smile on her face. "I don't know. I was fine for the first several weeks, but suddenly when walking into class, I realized I had to see you everday. And somehow, I was scared." She tilted her head as she glanced sidewards. "I am scared."

Said male retreated his hands from the girl's arms and positioned himself cross-legged.

"Of what?"

"I'm afraid you might blame me for every bad thing that's going to happen in the future, Bon," (Name) laughed with so much sadness it made Ryuji's heart hurt. "Good things don't last forever." She rubbed her eyes.

"But they can," Suguro answered as he took her fists away from her eyes and put her hands into his.

"I agree there's not sunshine every day and to some things, not a lot though, there's not even a good side. But that doesn't mean you can't be joyful for the things you have and proud of the things you have been through already." The grip of his hands tightened as he wanted to emphasize what he was saying right now.

"You can be proud of who you are, you should be!" his voice got louder, "and don't you ever think you are a burden to me!"

She could see the pinprick of tears in his eyes as he spilled out the last words. This didn't make the girl's situation any better, being on the verge of tears herself again. The second, no, third time this day.

"Thank you Ryuji," (Name) hushed like it was the most exhausting thing to do. "Thank you, thank you so much."

"There's no need to thank me, (Name)," he whispered against her forehead as they hugged each other again. "I'm so glad I got to know you, you can't imagine."