"Louis! Where are you hiding?! Twat! Get out here now!" I heard Harry's voice while I was sitting in the bathroom with a bleeding wrist. I sighed, what did he want now?
"I'm in the bathroom so let me be!" I screamed back to him and I heard him snort.
"You've been there for like half an hour! Get out, we need to go." we need to go?
"Where?" I asked while I started to wash my arm. I took out a bandage from a drawer and wound it over the new cuts. The howl louder than ever.
"We have an interview with some magazine and then a photo-shoot. Hurry up! Liam is already here." Harry said before he went down the stairs. Oh joy, we have work to do and I forgot it. I need to remember things. I was so stupid.
I grabbed a long sleeved jumper and put it over my striped shirt. I went downstairs and I could see the black car that would probably take us to wherever we were going. I stepped outside and the cold winter air bit my skin and I opened the door to the car and sat down with the rest of the lads. Smile Louis, I told myself as I put a fake smile on my face.
"Hey Louis, did you know that if you eat too much pizza your stomach will hurt." Niall asked and the others laughed at him.
"Yes I did Niall, why?" I asked giving him a smile.
"Because, I ate too much pizza to breakfast." only you Niall, I thought as I shook my head. Then something that surprised me happened.
"Louis hasn't eaten breakfast the last days." Harry's voice spoke up and my head snapped to him while the others' were aimed towards me. Why did he say that? Why couldn't he keep quiet about it? It was none in his business. The ringing in my ears grew. Shit.
"Is that true Louis?" Liam asked concerned and I shifted in my seat while I avoided their eyes.
"Well, I haven't really been hungry and it has only been a few days and like yeah..." I defended myself as they watched me curiously.
"But Louis, you're always hungry in the morning." Zayn said as he tilted his head to the side.
"I know it's just that, I haven't been the last days. Don't worry guys it's a temporary thing I promise." I said and they eyed me like to search for another answer.
"If you say so. But Louis remember that we're always and I mean always here for you. You can talk to us about anything." Liam said and I smiled, this time a real happy smile. How did I get so good friends? Why did I have them? I didn't deserve them. Not at all. I was just a worthless gay twat, why didn't they see that? Only Harry did. I felt my smile drop. I looked down at my lap and was quiet the rest of the ride.
***
God, I was so tired. We were on our way home. It wasn't one interview but eight! Eight interviews and a photo-shoot.
My head pounded, the howl was louder than usual and I closed my eyes. I was exhausted. Maybe I could sleep for some hours tonight.
I must have fallen asleep 'cause the next thing I knew was that somebody was shaking me gently. I opened my eyes sleepily.
"We're home Louis." I was surprised at how close Harry's face was. I could feel his breath on my face and my breath hitched. He was so damn close. Only a few inches away. I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Are you alright?" he asked and I cleared my throat trying to ignore the closeness..
"Yes." I sighed as Harry didn't move and studied my face. His eyes wandered from my forehead to my eyes, to my nose, to my cheeks and at the end, to my lips. I felt my mouth getting dry and I licked my lips. He eyed my mouth a while longer before he sighed.
"Come on twat we need to get inside." I felt anger grow inside me.
"So it's back to twat now?" I snapped as we walked towards the door.
"Not now Louis, I'm not in the mood." I was not going to let this go. Not this time.
"Well, I don't care if you're in the 'mood' for talking or not because I am sick and tired of the way you're treating me and I need some answers." I closed the door and Harry turned to face me.
"Then ask me something." he said and I got annoyed of his calmness.
"What did I do wrong?" I asked and he smiled sadly.
"You were you." I felt my shoulders drop. The problem was me. Of course it was. What had I expect? I nodded to Harry and sighed. "Now mine turn, why was you in the bathroom so long this morning?" he asked and I shook my head.
"Not fair. That is personal." I answered and he smiled.
"Well that was mine too so, why was you in there?" annoying but true.
"I was sorting some things out." I said and Harry laughed loudly. Shit what had I said? Wait... "Oh! Not like that!"
Harry laughed before he spoke. "Don't tell me you were jerking off for half an hour!?"
"No! I wasn't!" I said feeling a blush rise on my cheeks.
"Oh god, you're blushing!" he laughed.
"I know I am so shut up." I mumbled and Harry laughed.
"Sorry Lou. I'm heading to bed now." he said and then he was gone.
He did it again, he called me Lou.
How were you supposed to not love him?
