falling. (ashton)

trust worthy

Ellies pov-

--

Its been 24 hours since i made that deal with Ashton. I just dont know how long I am going to be able to handle it.

He wants me to love myself, but I have been trying for years and I keep ending up even farther away from loving myself.

My phone vibrates and its Sarah.

From:Sarah :)
heyy! we should hang out tonight since its friday, you up for a movie and a sleepover?

To: Sarah :)
Yah that sounds good. what time should I come over?

Im glad she asked me I really needed a break from ashton.

from:Sarah :)
anytime works, see ya soon?

to: Sarah :)
yup ((:

I quickly pack my stuff and let my mom know im leaving. I jump in the car and head straight to her house.

When I get to her door, she answers almost immediately , And I am
engulfed in a hug.

"LE I missed you, I haven't heard from you in a while. I'm so excited. So quietly go set your stuff down. Then we can get to the real stuff, like boys you know. she winks at me awkwardly and I just smile at her. She's so interesting but she's probably my best friend.

I haven't told her much but I plan on telling her almost every thing tonight. I don't remember if she knew about when I was hospitalized, because I was only there for a few days. She's gonna love to hear about Ashton. Oh God, Ashton.

"Sooo Ellie do you have a crush on anyone?" She smirks at me and I look at the floor. "Oh come on Ellie and I know you do. Don't you have a thing for Ashton? He really cares about you know."

I look at her and wonder how she knows this. "Yeah we have talked about it, but we decided that for now it's best for me not to be in a relationship."

She looks at me like im crazy.

"how can you not want to be in a relationship with Ashton. He's a cutie."

I chuckle and continue to look at the ground.

"I don't know, it's more personal. " I spit out. She looks unamused and wants to know more.

I sigh and finally give up.

"as you might know I have issues. I have issues with myself. I hate myself. And in fact, a while back I overdosed and I was hospitalized. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it, but I really just didn't want to for you to know about that."

I look down and tears form in my eyes. She looks sympathetic, and engulfs me in another hug. Why I didn't talk to her before? I don't know.

"hey, hey its alright. Lets watch a movie and talk about it later. The boys are coming over tomorrow so we will get all of our tears out, with the help from A Walk to Remember, and some ice cream. How does that sound?"

"Great." Is all I can manage to say. Im so glaf to have Sarah.

I sigh in relief and relax, and enjoy the rest of my night with Sarah.

And I tell her everything.

--

helloooo
longer update, and im proud of it. 😂 and there a great pic of ashton on the side. well thats about it, and ill be probably publishing the start of my new book that im really proud of. stay strong and beautiful and remember i love you. 💗💗