falling. (ashton)

Alone

Hey guys. There will be triggering. I'm sorry if you can't handle it, but this book will have lots. I love you guys.

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{Ellies pov}

I ran home, and locked myself in my room.

I hate Ashton Irwin.
Without even doing anything, he's tearing me apart.

I've spent a lot of time trying to be nice and distance myself from him. Maybe I'm trying to hard.

Maybe he actually cares.

Fuck no. There is no way he cares. If he cared, he wouldn't have asked me that. He would have waited for me to tell him. He doesn't, never has and never will care.

Michael, God damn it. It's his fault. Why couldn't he have realized I don't want friends and I don't want anyone to care.

Maybe it's my fault.

It is my fault. It's always my fault.

Fuck. My thoughts are going to kill me.

I can't take it.

I grab my blades I have hidden. And pull up my sleeve.

Fuck.

One for ashton.
One for Michael.
One for myself.
One because it's always my fault.

Shit.

It's been two weeks since I cut last, and I just ruined it.

Why can't I do anything right. Why the fuck can't I seem to do anything right. Ever.

I cover up the soon to be scars, cleaning them up. And regretting it already.

Ashton did this to me.

No.

I did this to myself.
I'm alone, with my thoughts.

I'm alone.