falling. (ashton)

Confusion

Hello, I'm just going to get right into it, so here we go.

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{Ellies pov}

"I've smoked more than I ever have before and-"

Then, he kissed me.

Did I like it? I don't know. Do I like him? I don't know. But what the hell? I thought hated me? And he fucking kisses me?

"What the hell was that?" I say after I pull away. "I thought you hated me? What is your issue?"

"El, let me see your scars." Fuck no. Who the hell does he think he is?

"El, I'm serious. I'm not here to hurt you." "Ashton that's all you've ever done to me." God I can't just let him see them, he's the reason for most of them.

"Look el, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't forgive me either if I were you. Just please. Let me see them."

I sigh and hesitate as I pull back my sleeves. He runs his finger over them and asks, "How many of these were because of me?"

I stare at him and don't know how to respond. I look down, hoping he'll just move on.

"El, please tell me. How many of these were because of me?"

God I don't know what to do.

"You don't want to know." I squeak.

"Actually yes I do."

I sigh and point to section of my wrist. It included 7 cuts.

He looks to the scars, then to me.

"God Ellie, I'm so sorry. Shit you don't deserve this." "That's not what you have said a couple days ago."

He grabs my arm and I hesitate at first but let him, slowly kiss each and every one of my scars.

I've never had anyone care so much. But does he really care? Or is he just guilty. At this point I don't know.

I'm falling, once again.