Rattlesnake Shake (Sebastian Bach)

🌟15🌟

Theodora's POV:

I knew that it was rude to just leave Sebastian with no explanation, but it still stung what he said. Not that I minded that he thought I was worthy of him, which I wasn't. It was instead the fact that he'd told me that I was perfect when I knew something that he didn't know. I knew that I was still cheating on him, even now. The real reason why I couldn't have sex with him last night was because I'd already had sex.

And I'd forgotten to use a condom, so I was all filled up. If Sebastian found out that I was still cheating, he'd kill me. Yes, I was far from perfect. The thrill of having to hide it made things only all the more fun. Although an overwhelming sense of guilt had begun to fill me up, the feeling only growing stronger with each passing day. It hurt, honestly. I'd never felt badly for doing anything like that before.

It's of course very much possible that I could be falling in love with Sebastian, but such a thought would only hurt me to even have. I'd never been in love, and I planned on keeping it like that until I died in five years.

I'd gone to a bar to drink and think about my problems. That always seemed to work for me. The bartender recognized me easily, immediately pouring me a glass of my favorite whiskey. "What was it this time?" She asked. Her shirt was pulled a little lower than usual, most likely the result of her slutty boss.

"I think I'm falling in love. But he loves me, and I'm not loyal to him." I slumped against the bar. "I don't wanna change."

"If you feel guilty about cheating, knowing you, you should probably stop. You should confess to him."

"I can't do that. The last time he got so pissed at me," I remembered feeling so guilty that day he'd caught me, and I couldn't cover it up.

"If he's stuck with you, if he chose you of all people," she paused so I could take a long sip of the whiskey, "then he'll forgive you. You should really tell him. And after you do that, maybe you should stay faithful for once."

"Oh, c'mon. You know that's not my style." I crossed my arms. "I've never done it before, I'm not changing that now."

"All I'm saying, Theodora, is that it might actually help to solve your problem." I finished my whiskey, slapping money down on the counter out of frustration. I knew that she was right, and I really hated that.

I went back to the place Sebastian and I were staying at, finding him smoking on a step. "You came back?" He asked, dropping his cigarette.

"You said it yourself, I don't have anywhere else to go." I sat next to him. "I just had a little soul-searching to do."

"That sounds a tad deep for you, Vette." He put his arm around me. "Did I say something wrong before?"

I sighed, knowing that I'd have to come clean to him. "Please don't call me perfect. I'm so far from it, and it makes me feel even worse to tell this to you. Glitz, I've been cheating on you. Even after I said I wouldn't the second time."

Sebastian's jaw set. He let me go, not saying anything for a long, long time. After this uncomfortable silence, he stood up. "Why did you do it?"

My mouth opened and closed a few times. "Sex is fun to me," I mumbled. "You weren't ready."

"That doesn't give you the fucking right to go out and give yourself away! I wanted to fix you!" He covered his mouth with his hands as my head shot up.

"You wanted to what?" Now I was on my feet, angry with him. "You wanted to fix me? You thought I was a broken whore just like everyone else?"

"Theodora, I never said that." He was shaking his head, but both of us knew full well that he didn't need to say it. It was overwhelmingly obvious. He'd only dated me because I was a pretty girl he thought he could make into a saint. "Please, we both fucked up. Why don't we call it even?"

"Sebastian, neither of us is right for the other one. I should just go back home." He grabbed my hand, and I looked at him sadly.

"This is your home. You're my Vette. You don't belong behind the Roxy." He was pulling me closer to him, trying to keep me. Even if we were still going to fight about this, the last thing he wanted was for me to leave. The last thing that I wanted was for me to stay here. I was making a fool of myself here; it wasn't where I belonged.

"I'm sorry." I pulled out his grip. "But this just isn't working out." I was down the steps again, watching him watch me sadly as I trotted down the sidewalk away from here.