Dauntless High School

Chapter 57

A/N: I'm not loving how this chapter turned out, but I've messed with it enough. Time to admit defeat and just move on, so here it is. Thank you if you're still reading. Oh, and I don't remember when I last did a disclaimer, but I still don't own Divergent.

-o-o-o-o-o-

SHAUNA

Zeke and I are hand in hand as we run from Ben Phillips' lake house. We cut through gardens, stumble over tree roots, but we don't stop until we can't hear the shouts of the busted party in the distance any longer. Finally, hidden behind some bushes, we stop to catch our breath. I lean forward, supporting myself with my hands on my bent knees, while Zeke leans back against the back wall of the darkened house. Hopefully this is a vacation home, like the one we just left behind.

Zeke wraps his arms around me. My heart is pounding, more from adrenaline than from physical exertion. But Zeke's firm hold feels warm and safe and I lean into him, accepting his comfort, while my heart rate gradually slows. For a little while, tonight was perfect.

Flashback:

Zeke pulls me away from the game to a corner. He tries to say something, but we are too near the speakers and I can't hear what he is saying. He starts dragging me off again and I let him.

We find a stairwell and make our way down to the basement. The whole time I am glancing at his face every two seconds. I can't read him. Is he freaking out? I'm freaking out. I feel the moisture where our hands meet. Is it my palms that are sweating, or are his? It has to be me, Zeke doesn't get nervous about girls.

It is less crowded here, but there are still several groups of people milling about the room. He tows me toward a door left ajar, leading into a dark room. Is he taking me somewhere private to let me down easy, so I won't make a scene? Four might be the unattainable quarterback, but when it comes to girls, Zeke is the king of the eleventh grade ― hell, he is the king of Dauntless High. If he was interested in me like that, he would have done something about it by now. I have probably ruined everything. Eight years of friendship, eight years I have managed to keep from letting my crush get in the way of things, and I blow it with one stupid, impulsive move.

Why did I kiss him in front of everyone? What the hell was I thinking?! He's still holding my hand... that has to be a good sign, right? Or maybe he is only holding onto my hand so he can make sure to have the chance to make it clear where we stand: friends and nothing more.

He pulls me through the door, switches on a lamp with his free hand and kicks the door shut. My heart pounds in my ears as I obediently sit on the bed in the middle of the room, perched on the edge with my feet on the floor. Beside me, Zeke sits angled toward me and just stares.

The tension builds with every second of charged silence. "Zeke, please say something," I whisper.

His eyes focus on mine. I couldn't look away if I tried, but his eyes flick south. I am giddy at the thought that he is looking at my lips, then I frown. Of course he is looking at my lips ― he is probably thinking about the fact that I just publicly kissed him five minutes ago.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have done that, not in front of everyone, I just―"

Zeke cuts me off mid-ramble. "No. I should have."

For a long moment, I am just staring at him, speechless. I run his words over and over in my head, trying out every possible meaning. "What?" I choke out. "You mean..." I can't finish the sentence, I feel like I would be jinxing myself.