F*CK I DROPPED IT

Love the Library?

You'd been spending more time in the library. If not the library you were keeping up an act during meals, and helping take care of the children. You'd wanted to skip playing tag as well, but you needed to keep active to prepare for the escape. And the constant running you knew you'd be doing after the escape. If you even made it till then.

That was the scary thing. You didn't really know if you were actually part of Grace Field. Yes, you were born and sent here, but were you truly part of them? You weren't in the real plot, now, were you? You could die, and no one might even notice.

You comforted yourself by telling yourself that Emma cared for you. You were friends with Norman. You're relationship with Ray, well, after the incident that day, became interesting, but you were still friends. The other kids knew you well, cared for you too. So your death, if it occurred, would affect the plot dearly, because you were a child of Grace Field. One reason why you thought you couldn't die, at least, until you escaped. And one reason why you had to not die. You didn't want to do anything that could mess anything up for the kids.

"Y/N?" You freezed up a second before putting away the book in your hand and looking back.

Smiling, you greeted her. "Hi mama!"

"Hi, dear," she smiled back, walking over to you. Her presence was so calming, so motherly, so endearing, you sometimes were lulled by her just being there. Yes, she was giving away kids- your family now- to demons, but there was something about her.

You knew about her. Her backstory, her song. When you were younger, and Isabella was taking a kid to their new home- death, you would hum the lullaby to yourself to calm down after breaking down.

Ah. So that's how Ray knew. At least he didn't ask how you knew the song.

"You've been in the library a lot recently," she said, suddenly, close to your face, too close, get away, get away, get away.

You grinned sheepishly. "Yeah." You looked down. "I love it, yeah, but recently it's cause-I don't know, I've just been feeling kind of... sad recently. I didn't cry when Connie left, you know?"

"Ah, really? Good job. I know you've been trying not to do that for a while now."

You nodded, sighing at the sound of her soothing voice. "But not crying feels like I lost the closure I needed. And I feel like my sadness is building up."

"Ah well, she's gone now." Gone. "You can cry."

"No, we have a promise." More like had. "I'm not breaking it no matter what happens. I won't cry because she left. I'll be happy now that she's happy and safe."

Safe from the horrors of the world. She rested happily, you hoped, with the rest of your family. Suddenly you felt the tears build up, you sucked in air, and pressed your hand to your chest. Isabella wrapped her arms around you. "It's okay to cry Y/N. I know you miss them."

"They don't even write," you said, clenching your jaw. "Do you think they forgot us?"

"No, they never will. And who would forget you?"

I think they will. You will too, if I died. Everyone would.

"I just want to be strong," you whispered.

"You are, don't worry," Isabella whispered back, hugging your tighter. She pulled back suddenly and leaned down, to get to eye level with you. She tilted her head. "You didn't cry."

You shook your head, sniffling, fake, I'm a fake.

You mustered a wobbly smile, holding onto her hand. "I'm a big girl like you mama. And big, brave girls don't cry."

"Whether you cry or not," she placed her other hand on your cheek, her nail scratching you, on purpose, you wretch that was on purpose! "You're still a big, brave girl. You always will be. Even when you have your own kids."

Good. I better be a candidate to be a mother.

Trust me.