Book One: Selfless Love [Jikook]

~8~

"Hyung, i'm so sorry. I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry you had to feel this way. But i'm so happy and proud of how you accepted yourself, how you managed so much on your own. You're always an inspiration to me hyung and i look up to you alot. Thank you Jimin hyung and i'm sorry." Jungkook cries out, getting carried away by his emotions. Usually, he would never say things like these to Jimin no matter how sincerely he meant it but today was different, he just couldn't bear the fact that Jimin had to go through so much at once and he couldn't even be there for him.

"Shushhh...Koo shushhh. It's ok. I'm ok." Jimin hugs Jungkook, wrapping his arms around the other's shoulders and head. It was endearing that Jungkook felt so bad and guilty despite knowing he couldn't have done anything cause he didn't know.

"I'm glad you feel comfortable with your sexuality hyung. And you're right, you don't have to inform anyone about it. It's totally your call." Jungkook whispers softly, embracing Jimin. Jimin smiles softly, his heart fluttering as he tries to stop the urge to burst out crying right then and there. How he wished he had someone to tell him all this years ago. He feels grateful to have Jungkook with him, even just as a bestfriend. He mumbles a quiet 'thank you', clutching Jungkook tighly.

Jungkook hugs Jimin's waist tight, head on Jimin's chest as they both stay like that for a few minutes, calming each other down. It was a moment to process everything and perhaps a silent promise to be there for each other as Jimin rocked them gently back and forth.

After sensing the sniffling male in his arms calm down, Jimin backs up a bit to look at Jungkook's red, tears clad face. He was looking super cute and sported a cute little pout. Jimin had always found Jungkook's pout the most adorable thing on earth. It was just irresistible to not look at, with his beautiful puckered pink lips looking even prettier. He'd always wanted to kiss it away but he couldn't.

"Kookie, it's ok. I'm fine now, don't worry. And you've done more than enough for me, always helping me out and checking on me and i always appreciate you for that. What happened is in the past so let's let it remain like that, ok?" Jimin gently says, grabbing the other's cheeks with his small hands and wiping Jungkook's tears away as Jungkook nods cutely, making Jimin giggle at the boy.

"How can you be so cute Jungkookie?" Jimin chuckles some more, looking at Jungkook with loving eyes. He was so in love with this man, the longer he stayed so close to him and looked him in his beautiful doe eyes, the more he realised that fact.

"Hyung, i'm not cute, i'm hot!" Jungkook sniffles, exclaiming playfully as he lifts his chin up in grimace.

Jimin laughs at the other's antics and Jungkook joins him in. Jimin gazed lovingly at Jungkook, who laughed openly, he was looking so pretty especially with the lights in the room a dim purple lighting. Jimin's heart squeezed in his chest, he so badly wants to tell Jungkook he loves him and maybe then kiss him on his lips and make him his forever but he couldn't. That would be so selfish of him, to ruin their bond knowing Jungkook is straight and yet confessing to him. It would make it so much more difficult for all of them.

Jungkook stopped laughing, noticing Jimin just looking at him with a smile on his face, but it almost looked pained.

"Hyung, are you going to tell me who was he?" Jungkook gently asks, with hope.

Jimin looks away, it was so tempting to just tell Jungkook the truth but he wouldn't be able to live with himself, knowing how he ruined everything not only between them but also the group.

"He- you don't know him Jungkook." Jimin lies, finally looking at Jungkook with resolve. He's quite a skillful liar if he wants to be, you just have to not look guilty or too uptight and that's it, here's a pretty little lie for you.

Jungkook looked at him a second longer in suspicion and blinked, "are you not going to tell me his name either?"

"It's an old thing Jungkook, i don't really want to remember it." Ok, yes sometimes maybe those lying tactics don't work and then you have to go extreme and choose, well, manipulation. Jimin sighs, looking away dejectedly as he removes himself from Jungkook's lap and climbs back to his side of the bed, all while not glancing at Jungkook. He felt bad for acting this way to convince Jungkook to let this go but it was necessary.

Jungkook bites his bottom lip regretfully, thinking this must be a sensitive topic for Jimin. He quickly thinks up ways to distract the older.

"Well, ok hyung, you don't have to tell me but you promise you'll tell me if you find someone from now on?" Jungkook says in a tone as if he's scolding a kid and smiles afterwards, holding his pinky out for Jimin.

Jimin looks up and smiles at Jungkook's pinky, intwinning their fingers together. He looks Jungkook in the eyes smiling, there's not going to be anyone in the future, Jungkookie. He thinks to himself and smiles.

Since, it was because of him that the mood became a little sad, Jungkook took it upon himself to cheer Jimin up. Although, gaming was probably the last thing Jimin wanted to do right now but he still agreed since he appreciated Jungkook's attempt at cheering him up. He did eventually get into it half way through though.

They both played for hours till it was almost time for the sun to rise. Jungkook had fallen asleep in Jimin's room and Jimin was wide awake next to him despite being extremely tired. He glanced at Jungkook sleeping peacefully with his lips puckered, he looked like a pure beauty. The Prince of purity. He probably was in his past life, Jimin wouldn't put it past him.

Is this it? Did i really convince him? This was the last questions running through Jimin's mind as he gave into the dull ache in his head urging him to force his mind shut into a dreamless sleep.

_

I had one of the most intense anxiety attacks yesterday and damn it was tiring.

Take care of your mental and emotional health, along with your physical health lovely peoples.

Any LGBTQ+ fam here, just know you don't owe anyone an answer about what your sexuality is. You do you boo.😚

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