Book One: Selfless Love [Jikook]

~13~

He knows now.

It hadn't been long since he's been going after the answer but it still felt like a late realisation to Jungkook. Maybe it was, it's been 8 years, almost 9. How did i not realise?

Jungkook sat on the corner of the bed. His face void of emotion but his mind a totally different world.

It was all coming back to him. He was as if time travelling to the past and picking up the hints he missed before.

It wasn't Taehyung afterall. Sigh.

Jungkook looks back at the sleeping figure of Jimin. He had no idea what to do now.

Few hours and it will be morning already and he would have to face Jimin. Will hyung remember?

Did he have to give an answer back now that he knows? He thought about it.

Before contemplating on that, he simply kept thinking, why does Jimin love me? For so long?

He couldn't think of anything he had that Jimin would love about him. He thought back to all the things Jimin described him as earlier and while some made sense, some of them he had a hard time digesting, maybe because it was about him and he couldn't possibly know how others perceive him as.

This whole thing was overwhelming though. The most overwhelming of all however, is the realisation that he at some point or another had hurt his hyung. Even if it can't possibly be his fault that he can't love him the same way Jimin does, it still might have hurt Jimin.

He never wanted that for the latter, that's how much he cherished him. But, he knows the reason Jimin never told him about his feelings is because he knew he'd never be able to return his feelings and now his whole purpose of trying to get Jimin's feelings reciprocated is down the drain. He isn't even sure if he's the right person to help Jimin get over his love, which is him. And he absolutely doesn't want Jimin to be stuck on him forever. Jimin deserves to be loved back.

Jungkook massages his temples, taking a deep breath. He had been overthinking the whole ordeal for a long four hours, that the sunlight was almost blanketing the night sky.

Sighing he gets up and turns around to stare at Jimin in a peaceful slumber. Would hyung hate to see me first thing in the morning after everything? Sighing again, he trudges out the room, deciding it was best to give Jimin a little space to deal with the fact that he drunkenly confessed to him. Not to mention, he needed time to process everything too.

~ Flashback ~

"Hyung..." That's all Jungkook could utter in his stunned state.

"Jungkook..." Jimin barely voiced out but Jungkook could hear it as clear as daylight with how close they sat.

Jimin stared at him with so much love but Jungkook could see the glistening in his eyes, and within seconds it poured out little droplets of salty liquid.

Jimin smiled as he released the years of pent up pain. He drunkenly chuckled but Jungkook could hear the pain even in the chuckles and little laughs and it pained him to see that.

"I..i love you." All his restraints broke loose as tears kept cascading down his face. "I love you Jungkook." Jimin hugged Jungkook tight, crying on his shoulder as tears fell from Jungkook's eyes, he could feel the pain.

They held each other like that for a while, crying with each other, and somewhere along the line Jimin fell asleep in Jungkook's arms, leaving a very conflicted Jungkook behind.

~ Present ~

A lone tear dropped out of Jungkook's eye as he thought back over and over about last night.

I love you Jungkook. Playing over and over on his mind.

"...gkook,...ungkook, Jungkook!"

"Huh." Jungkook exclaims startled, looking up from his computer screen.

"I said you wanna get lunch with us?" Jin looks at him weirdly.

"Uh, oh, no hyung i have work to do." He excuses himself, still half absent mindedly.

"Ok." Jin turns around on his heels, leaving, "You should atleast turn on the computer though." He laughs.

Jungkook looks at the computer and it was indeed pitch black.

He sighs before realising.

"Wait Jin hyung!" Jungkook calls out loudly, getting up his seat to follow Jin out the corridor.

"Hmm." Jin stalls.

"Is Jimin hyung going?" He asks instead of inquiring if he woke up.

"He didn't respond when i knocked and his room was locked so i think he's still sleeping." Jin responded and left instantly.

Locked?

Sighs.

He's awake!

Jungkook sighs again and goes back to his room.

Jimin sat on his bed, palming his face. He was frustrated. With himself.

How could i do that?

This morning he woke up to the sound of a loud screech, which is definitely Hobi for him even if he was barely awake.

He didn't get too hungover as he's used to drinking. Getting out of bed, he approached his bathroom as he needed to urgently pee.

After washing his face, he entered his room again. Brain empty. He observed the messy room with an empty alcohol bottle, instantly remembering the events of last night.

If he didn't have a headache beforehand from the alcohol, he definitely had a major one now by the realisation that, "I FUCKING CONFESSED TO JUNGKOOK!!!"

"SHIT! SHIT! FUCK!" Jimin panics as he looks around as if Jungkook was around somewhere looking at him in disappointment.

"No no no, he wouldn't be disappointed, it's all fine, it's all fine. Why'd he leave then? He never leaves before i wake up!" Jimin fidgets nervously, his heart hammering against his chest.

He quickly locks the door, not ready to face anybody at this moment.

His hair looked dishevelled by the amount of time he pushed his hand through it but it couldn't compare to his messed up mind.

He didn't know what was he supposed to say to Jungkook now. All his lies were now in vain. What if he thinks i'm pathetic for loving him all these years? Jimin worries himself even more, tears sliding down his face as all his past insecurities flood in through the raised veil to all his vulnerabilities.

_

I was going to wait for the mission to be completed but i'm way too impatient and excited to finish this book and get to the second one. The second one is coming around pretty good tbh, i didn't think it would be like that.😭

Anyways, last chapter tomorrow! Are you excited?

Make your predictions before reading the last chapter. What do you think will happen? Write anything on your mind, it doesn't have to be accurate.