Lover, leaver

Seven.

after a while of taking photos of the boys we head back to the house. josh, Sam and I, listening to their songs on the way-
(For maximum exp. listen to talk on the street by Greta van fleet.)
"That's it. Put the top down josh." I say.
"You sure Kenna?" He looks at me with a grin. Sam had laughed in the back seat.
"Absolutely" I unbuckle and climb in the back with Sam.
"Hang on" josh says turning a sharp curve. I let excitement leave my body.
"Okay Sam. Do the thing." I say.
"Gotcha" he said as he put his hands around my waist, I stand up and let the wind travel through my hair.
"I like this song. TURN IT ALL THE WAY UP" I yell.
"I got it mama" josh says.
"I CAN HEAR THEM TALKING-" I sing as I could hear josh and Sams laughter. I look down at Sam, his smile had always been absolutely perfect.
"Grab my hand . Come on" I stand him up.
"The view of the road is perfect from here huh?" I say, I take his hands and put them back around my waist.
By the end of the song, Josh had hit a pot hole.
(Age of machine) Both Sam and I, fell down. Sam fell first and me on Sams lap. josh wasn't paying attention.
"you good?" Sam asked. I turn with a grin.
"Never better Sammy." I grab him by the shirt collar and straddle his lap. bringing my hands from his shirt to his hair, we held eye contact. I almost forgot that Sams eyes were brown. His lips draw closer to mine. Breaking all eye contact. He leans in, but I break the tension by slamming my head back and throwing my hands in the air-
"FEELING OH GOD THE FEELING-" lost in the music I feel Sams hands around my waist.  I rest my forehead softly on his. I made the right choice- but maybe I wanted more than a friendship from Sam?
"We've returned. unharmed by the woman" josh says trying not to break character.
"Yes indeed." Sam follows along. I roll my eyes.
"Have fun!" Danny asks.
"Absolutely. I got some really good shots" I say.
"ah can we see?" Jake asks.
"Nope not until I'm done with my project." I walk over toward the door. "Don't we have to be at the venue soon. Josh, I have to show you a trick when you change into your jumpsuit tonight" I say.
"We need to head to the venue now actually-" Danny says. We all scramble and get into the suv. it was always Josh in front. Jake and Danny in the middle and me and Sam in the back.
"thanks for today-" Sam whispers.
"no problem, I'm glad we got to spend time together." I say. He interlaces his fingers into mine. I find myself resting my head on his shoulder for the rest of the trip.
*45 minutes till show-*
"Okay, come here josh." I say walking toward him. I unfasten a button on the jumpsuit and the sheer cover and sleeves fall to the ground. "Wear it sleeveless tonight-" I smile and give him a wink.
"You really did do such a good job." He says back to me. I smile and head to check on Jake and Danny.  No issues with wardrobe,  thank god.
"You guys are good right?" I ask.
"Yep, but Sam doesn't look to hot- I think he is nervous about tonight" Jake says. We hear over the radio- *8 minutes till show"
The boys and I walked down the hall-
"hey- are you okay?" I ask Sam. He had a worried look on his face.
"Yeah- no not really. Anxiety is kicking my ass tonight." He says. All four boys stop at the end of the hallway.
"Don't be nervous. You will do great. I promise" I say.
"With my luck. I'm gonna fuck this whole show up" Sam says looking down.  I wasn't paying attention to the other three boys, I didn't acknowledge they were there.
"well then if your luck is bad- you can have this.." I state as I push him against the wall and pull his head down to kiss him. He wraps his hands around my waist and kisses me more passionately.
"WHOOOO-" we hear from in front of us followed by some clapping. It was the twins. I roll my eyes and say
"Go get em' tiger." Sam smiles and whispers in my ear- "thank you." I give him one last kiss and they enter on the stage and I take my place in the pit- once again.
I was taking photos in the pit when I heard josh say-
"This next song- is about a girl, that we have all loved. One who is family- a girl who's mind is so magnificent. This is for you-"
I look at him from the crowd. He shoots me a wink. I smile in response. Then, the lights go out and I hear Sam playing the keys (light my love)
As I stood there taking photos of the boys and of the crowd, I felt in the right place. I closed my eyes for a brief moment listening to  josh sing the words
"Your mind is a stream of colors- Extending beyond our sky
A land of infinite wonders
A billion lightyears from here now"
I hade made up my mind- after all of the years hating Sam- I realized I DID love him. I needed him.