Lover, leaver

Twenty four

In the days leading up to the final tour date, I casually avoided josh every time I could. molly had gone back home to take care of family matters, but she reminded me daily to tell Jake that she missed him. Sam and I had scheduled maternity photos to be taken. I couldn't tell who was more excited, me or Sammy. the thought of that made me chuckle lightly. Danny and I had started a ritual of just the two of us eating lunch on Thursdays. I found myself talking to Jake a lot, between mine and Sams afternoon naps and mine and Josh's conversations. I found sanctuary in Jake at times. he gave me a break from the other three boys, he made me laugh a lot. I knew he was gonna be the best uncle my kid had. Jake was my favorite so I knew that the baby would love him too. but, not as much as he would love his daddy.
    I found myself wondering what he is gonna look like.
Would he have my eyes and Sams nose? Sams hair and my ears? I couldn't wait for him to get here. I couldn't wait to see all of my boys together. It was going to make labor worth it.
I was sitting on the couch when I heard the door open.
It was Sam. josh had them in the studio this morning.
"Hey baby. How was your day?" I ask still sitting in my spot. No reply.
"Baby?" I ask getting up.
"sorry Kenna- I just. don't wanna talk about it. the studio was tense today. there was an argument between Jake and josh and then they sucked me into it and Danny tried to stop it and - " he says before I cut him off with a long awaited kiss.
"Shh. I don't need anymore. let's go sit on the couch. You can put your head in what's left of my lap and I can play with your hair while you read." I say.
"I've been waiting all day to hear that. give me a second to change pants and I will take you up on that offer" he smiles. I wouldn't trade him for the world. I still couldn't help but wonder about the argument. I always had a habit of over thinking things but tonight it was taking over. what if it was about me ?
"Okay, I'm back. Hopefully our son doesn't kick me in the head this time." He laughs.
"No promises" I follow.
"thirty eight weeks Kenna. in fourteen days we get to meet this guy. I can't believe that-" he says.
"I know. have we decided on a name yet? " I ask.
"hmm I still have nothin." Sam says furrowing his eye brows.
"We will think of something" I say.
"well I think we are gonna have to. Oh. I forgot to tell you, we host the family dinner this week. Mom told me to tell you." He says.
"shoot. I totally forgot." I say.
*Saturday*
Ah yes. Family dinners. the highlight of my week.
All of the kiszkas AND the Wagner's under one single roof.
The boys were already there watching football reruns.
I came out of our bedroom in a purple sundress, one that Sam had bought me.
"Good morning sleepy head." Sam says coming over and giving me a kiss.
"Good morning." I say to the rest of the boys walking to the kitchen.
"Morning Kenna." A mix a voices said.
"Sam, do you and Josh wanna run to the store for me right fast?" I ask batting my eyes.
"yeah I'll go. " Josh says.
"Cool." I say handing them a list of things that I need for tonight's dinner.
"I'm going too." Danny stands up.
"okay. Jake?" I start." You gonna keep me company bestie?" I ask
"yeah, I'll stay." Jake says.
"Sick." I say going back into the kitchen as Jake follows close behind.
"so Sam came back pretty upset last night. he said something about an argument but when I asked about it he said he didn't wanna talk about it." I say sitting on a chair.
"yeah, Josh started and argument about our "summer fling" when I was 17 and you were 15." Jake says leaned up against the counter.
"Oh.. that's interesting. You never told him what- happened that summer did you?" I ask
"No of course not. I never even told Sam." He says.
"Good." I say relieved.
"did YOU say anything?" Jake asks
"Of course not. but Josh did catch me doing dishes the other night and -" I start to say. " and told me how he felt then and now. it was a lot and I'm still kinda iffy about it you know." I say turning to move the towel.
"he really was jealous the entire time we were a thing. we actually got into a fist fight over you and that's how mom found out." Jake says pouring a glass of water.
"You've gotta be kidding me" My face drops.
"I'm dead serious. The reason that my mom and Lori found out was because of Josh and I's fist fight in the back yard." he says.
"I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna beat the-" I stop and look down.
"Jake. call Sam right now." I say.
"What- oh shit." He says.
I hear him on the phone-
"uhhh sam get your ass back here rn. Also Josh, Kenna is trying to beat your ass so take precautionary measures" he hangs up the phone.
"holy shit , I didn't anticipate him coming today. Grab the bags out of the nursery." I say as Jake stood there in shock.
"JAKE. GO. Now." I raise my voice.
"Okay okay." He turns around.
He brings the bags to the living room.
"Jake. Sam isn't gonna make it in time. drive me. I trust you." I say.
"oh god. Okay. Come on." he says helping me out to his car. "it's gonna be okay. I promise"