Lover, leaver

Thirteen

*sams pov*
I ran. I wasn't ready to be a dad, but I loved her. everything swarmed in my head as I sat in the place that I told her I loved her for the first time. She never heard me.
I lie on my back, breathing in the cold air, watching the flakes of snow fall around me. I didn't know whether to be happy or to cry.
*flahsback*
"Sam you are gonna get us in trouble." Kenna said.
"No I'm not- I come out here all the time. Come on up." I say extending my hands.
"Fine, why did you bring me up here-" she asked.
"because I wanted you to see the stars from here-" I said pointing to the night sky.
"they are beautiful from here sammy-" she says laying back on the wooden floor.
" just like you" I mumble.
"What" she asks.
"Nothing-" I retort.
"Sam I'm glad we are best friends. I don't think I could ever live without you." She says.
"I love you." I mumble again low enough to where she would never hear me.
*end of flash back*
   I felt so bad for running but I needed to think.
"SAM!!?" I hear a voice. I look down, it's Jake. Followed by josh.
"Up here Jake," I say. I hear them start climbing the ladder.
"Thought you might be here" josh says. "You ran away up here for a day and mom was worried, do you remember that"
"Ha- yeah" I chuckle.
"now, why did you run from her?" Jake asks.
"because I don't know how to feel and I didn't want to hurt her-" I say. "I know that's a shitty excuse but, I'm so fucking scared Jake."
"she has been pacing a hole  in moms floor for an hour,  she is worried and that's not good." Josh states
  "let's start here, do you want kids-" he asks.
"I do but I didn't think it would be so soon." I say.
" she spent all day planning that, by the way." Jake says. " she was so scared to tell you-"
"I know and I hurt her by running." I confessed
"no you had every right. But what you do next determines everything else." Josh tells me.
"so what josh is saying, you need to get your ass back to the house and tell your pregnant girlfriend that you love her and that it's gonna be okay-" Jake says in one breath.
"You aren't wrong-  what am I even gonna say to her? What if she hates me?" I state. The twins look at me like I'm half stupid.
"I think I'm ready now." I sigh. We trudge back through the snow covered wood, where Danny and I once went Sasquatch hunting everytime we would get together.
"Kenna," I say standing behind her. She looked more beautiful than ever. she was in a white dress, her black hair down.
"Sam- I was so worried. DONT EVER do me like that again." she says.
"Baby. If you are ready. So am I. I'm ready." I say grabbing her hands.
"okay Sammy. but what about the band and tour? " she speeds her words
"Shh, we will figure it out. but for right now- we will take it one step at a time, okay." I reassure her. I pick her up by her waist and spin her around.
I hear clapping behind us.
"Everyone is clapping Aren't they" she asks
"Yep-" I nod. "As they should, because WE ARE HAVING A BABY-" I laugh.
"Merry Christmas Sammy." Kenna says.
"Merry Christmas Kenna" I say, kissing her in the living room. "I love you."
"I love you too sammy." She says wrapping her arms around me, embracing me in the love that I let go once.