Crystal Clear

Chapter Twenty

PRESENT

GABBY

Those memories are hard for me to contain, I'll be the first to admit. There were moments of my relationship with Tony that I was not proud of. I just can't take it anymore. As I'm about to cry from all the joyous memories we had together as well, Matty comes running into my room, totally oblivious to the etiquette of knocking first.

"Can I show you something?" he asks me all excited. I put my self-loathing thoughts aside, put Tony on the backburner and follow him through the house, down the stairs. I'm wearing wide-leg trousers and a Juice Couture 2-layer tank along with Jimmy Choos—they're totally cute, with a wedge embroidery and metallic leather sandals. Matty then drags me outside, so I still follow him. Let's see what this kid is up to. He begins to run, so I'm now taking my Jimmy Choos off in order to run with him. I hold them in my hand as we continue to run through the field, until we reach the treeline. I tell Matty that it isn't a smart idea to go into the forest, but he tells me he's done it his whole life. He continues to lead me, my toes squishing in the mud. Gross. Up ahead I can see a stream, a creek.

"You see this Gabby? You follow the creek," and that's what we do. And the creek leads to a small pond which has a rope tied to a tree, to swing into the water.

"Let's do it!" Matty screams, he was even more excited, if that was possible.

"Okay but we need to be careful and remember to let go when you're over the water," I instruct. He smiles at me graciously. He loves the spontaneity of this and so do I. then he takes off his shirt and climbs the rope, swinging himself as far as he can go. After he's in the water, he's begging me to do it. I take off my shirt as well—I have a sports bra underneath—and I run and jump into the water with the rope. It's so much fun. Back in Jersey, I never would have done this. Not that we even have anything like it near me. Stanfield is just... changing me, I guess. Matty and I do this a few more times before we decide to go back as we were getting tired.
"Can we do this again tomorrow?" he asks, anticipating I'll say yes. I nod.

"Sure, why not?" I tell him, he smiles. I give him a hug. I carry my shirt and shoes home now. I put my soaking wet hair in a high ponytail on top of my head.

Unexpectedly, when I get into the house, my dad's home. Moe's there too. And Ray, Phillipe, Josh and Chanelle.

"Guys, where've you been?" I instantly run up the stairs. I couldn't look disgusting to them (Moe) and I was in my bra! Embarrassing much?

When I get to my room, I strip down naked, hop back into the shower upstairs. I quickly shower, get out, put on a sequined starland tank with a twisted-knot miniskirt. I go back downstairs to greet everyone, since I totally ignored them the first time around. We eat dinner together and share some laughs. I still don't know why everyone's here, but whatever. It's a barbeque. Then everyone leaves, except Chanelle and Moe. Chanelle, Matty and my dad sit on the couch watching "Pirates of the Caribbean."

Meanwhile, Moe comes into my bedroom. I'm laying on my bed reading Twilight.

"Was what you said... true?" he asks me. I shrug.

"I have no clue what you're talking about," I say nonchalantly.

"What you told me last Saturday. Was that the truth?"

"I don't remember anything from that night," I'm being honest.

"Do you miss your ex... Tony?" he asks. Wow, okay way to change the subject.

"Well, it's heart breaking," my voice barely above a whisper. I put Twilight on my night table to fully focus on him.

"And what exactly is heart break to you? Because when Shan and I broke up I didn't care." Okay, how am I supposed to define this for him?
"Um... how about... lying on your bathroom floor. Trying your hardest to breathe... while simultaneously, wondering where the hell it all went wrong. And how you're going to get up, pep talking yourself, to pretend like everything is alright... and what the hell are you going to do about the hole in your chest? Yeah, that's what it is to me," I spat angrily at him. It's the perfect explanation since when Tony and I broke up that's exactly what I did.

"Do you miss him?" that caught me off guard, I think about it for a second.

"I don't miss him. I just miss who I thought he was." Moe seems to understand what I'm saying, but who knows? We sit in perfect silence.

"Back to my question... answer it," he demands.

"You can be nice asking me. And once again, I don't know what I said! For all I know, I could've told you my biggest secret!" I lose my temper with him. His stubbornness is unbelievable. Did I tell him about Crystal?

Nobody knows that I'm Crystal here except Dee. Everyone in Jersey knew me as Crystal, here I'm just known as Gabby.

"I believe we secretly love each other," Moe smirks, I gasp. My face flushes red. He puts his arm around me.

"What makes you think that?"

"The way you look at me," he's being serious. The tension in the room is tangible, I can barely breathe with the way he's looking at me.

"Nothing can ever happen between us." I tell him. It breaks my heart to say it and for a split second I can see his facial expression contort into hurt, anger and despair, but then it goes back to that stupid grin on his face, as my own heart is beating fast, shattered, but ultimately knowing our truth.