Ain't No Mountain High Enough

"Hard to Say I'm Sorry"

Arjun took me to the coffee shop, and Valerie was standing outside of it. The glow from her phone was illuminating her face, and I felt my heart leap into my throat. What was I doing?!

"You sure she said to see you?" Arjun said, giving me an incredulous look.

I nodded, unable to take my eyes off of her. "Yeah...she said."

"All right then." Arjun got out of the car and went around to the back to get my wheelchair out.

I had seen cars with ramps so that they were more accessible to people like me, and I really wished we could afford something like that. It would make getting in and out of the car a heck of a lot easier. I hated car rides, and it wasn't only because I was worried about crashing again.

Once Arjun finally helped me into the wheelchair, he left me to fend for myself, since Valerie had offered to take me home. I wasn't sure that was a good idea, but I guessed I could always ask Arjun to come back if it was absolutely necessary.

It felt strange to be out there. It was the first time I'd left the house and was on my own, save for all the visits to the doctor's office, since the accident. My heart was thudding in my chest, but I couldn't tell whether it was from being nervous about seeing Valerie or being left out in public. Maybe it was a combination of both.

"Randall?"

I paused, then looked up to see Valerie standing there. Guess I got lost in thought... "Hey, Val..." I cringed at my tone.

Valerie just smiled. I realized she was wearing a Metal Gear sweatshirt. Did...did she do that on purpose?! She knew that was my favorite game, anyway. But if she did do it on purpose, why?

"Nice shirt," I said, giving a nervous laugh.

She tugged on the hem of it. "Thanks," she said. I swore I saw blush rising on her cheeks.

To make matters worse, the evening was not unlike the night we had kissed. Perfect weather, a cool breeze. Stars were starting to appear in the sky as the sun sank into the horizon. The sky was colored with beautiful shades of pink, orange, and purple. I could see in Valerie's eyes that she was thinking of that night. She was running a finger across her bottom lip.

I swallowed hard and looked away. "Um...what did you want to talk about?"

She let her hand drop to her side. "Do you want coffee? I thought we could just...talk for a while, I guess. We haven't done that in a while."

"What would your boyfriend think of you going out for coffee with me?" I dared to ask.

There was a pause, then she sighed and crossed her arms. "I'm really sorry, Randall. For not telling you, I mean. But Stephen knows I'm here, and...well, he trusts me enough to be able to hang out with an old friend."

I winced, and I was sure she saw it, because regret filled her eyes. I couldn't tell whether it was regret over dumping me, or what she just said. This was going to be one painfully awkward night, and I wished I never agreed to coming. Then again...I did want to be on good terms with Valerie. She was still my friend, and our concept artist. We would have to work with each other in the future, anyways.

I took a deep breath, held it, then let it go. "I'd love coffee," I said, putting a smile on my face. "Lead the way."

The corners of her mouth turned up in the tiniest of smiles. She turned to lead the way up a ramp that was built next to regular steps, then opened the door for me. Gosh, I hated that. I was supposed to open the door for her. It was just another reason why I wasn't the one for her. I couldn't treat her like the queen she was.

The coffee shop was small, and only had a few tables. It was a hole-in-the-wall type of place, and not many people usually came, which was strange considering how good the coffee was there. But that was why it was Valerie's favorite, and our group's usual meeting spot. Good coffee and an empty dining room.

There were two baristas behind the counter, one yawning as she cleaned the coffee machine as the other stepped up to the counter. "Hello, Valerie," she said, grinning. She glanced at me. "Ah, and Randall. It's been awhile!"

"Hey," I said in return. We'd all been here so many times that the baristas knew who we were. When we got to college, my band of geeks had decided to make the place our meeting spot. Anyway, she must have heard about the crash and everything, since she didn't comment on the wheelchair or act surprised about it.

We got our coffee, then took our places at a little table by the wall that was made of glass so that it looked out over the parking lot outside of the Target that was next door. There were still quite a few cars parked around.

I moved one of the chairs aside and wheeled up to the table as Valerie set my cup in front of me. "Thanks," I mumbled. Ugh, why couldn't I find more things to say that one-word replies?

We sat in silence for a moment, sipping our coffee and staring at the parking lot like it was a thrilling action movie. It was just what I was afraid of. Things weren't going to be the same between us. Maybe...maybe that fate was sealed the night we kissed.

"So...," I said, breaking the silence. "What did you want to talk about?"

Valerie's grip tightened around the coffee cup. Her gears were turning, and I realized she brought me here to tell me something difficult. And something told me it wasn't that she was breaking up with Stephen. I braced myself for the worst.

After a moment of staring out the window and stalling, Valerie finally looked me in the eye and said what was rumbling around in her head. "Randall." The tone of her voice sounded so vulnerable it made my heart ache. "Stephen and I made a decision recently, and...I wanted you to be the first to know. I...didn't want you to find out another way, like...like last time."

My hands turned to fists under the table. I focused on the table, which was made of some sort of glazed wood. "Go ahead," I whispered.

"Stephen got a job as a fitness trainer in Boston, and...he took it." She said it slowly, like maybe if she chose her words carefully enough, the truth wouldn't hurt so much.

"What does that have to do with you?" I asked in a sharp tone. But of course I already knew what it had to do with her. It had everything to do with her.

She brushed strands of her hair behind her ear. I realized her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"Well," she said, "I decided to go with him."

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Listen to "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago!

Peace ✌ ~ A.J.