Ain't No Mountain High Enough

"Don't You Want Me"

"What's up?" I asked. My voice squeaked a little, but Valerie didn't seem to notice. She clasped her hands together and started pacing around the room, and it was a moment before she replied.

"What do you think of Stephen?" she asked. She turned to face me. It was definitely not a question I had been expecting...and what kind of answer did she think I'd give her?

"Uhhhh..." My eyes traveled the room, looking at everything but her; the collection of old oven mitts on a shelf behind her, a toolbox, and the vacuum cleaner — anything to keep from meeting Valerie's gaze and letting her see right through me. "He's all right," I finally got out. "I haven't been around him all that much, but if you love him, then I'm sure he's great."

She smiled, but I could tell she didn't believe me. She knew as well as anyone else that I hated the guy. I knew it was wrong for me to hate him. I barely knew him, and I was just bitter that he was dating the girl I had a crush on.

"That's not what you wanted to talk about, is it?" I leaned back in my wheelchair. "If something's bothering you, Val, I want to know about it. You know I...I still care about you. A lot."

Valerie nodded. The muffled voices coming from the living room got louder (they were probably getting really into the video game), and it made Valerie flinch and look towards the door. "It's just..." She went quiet. I was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She stared at the ceiling for a moment, then seemed to make up her mind about something. "I guess I'm just really going to miss you guys."

That's definitely not what she wanted to talk about, but I wasn't about to press. But maybe I should have. Maybe it would have changed things. But I just smiled. "We'll miss you, too. I'll miss you. Well, I do already."

She knew exactly what I meant. "I know..." She opened her mouth to add more, but shut it again. So I took the liberty to talk.

"What happened to us, Val?" I asked, sighing. "I thought...after that night, we might get together. But we went on a few dates, and that was it."

"I was a little nervous I guess," Valerie said, shrugging. She wrapped her arms around herself. "I'd dated before...but you were different. Not a bad different. You said how you felt I was out of your league, but really...I felt completely out of yours."

"Mine?" my eyes widened. How the heck could she ever be out of my league?! I was a complete nerd in high school and not even the least bit attractive. "Valerie, that's not even possible, okay?" I laughed. "I mean, look at me! Even without this stupid chair, and especially when I was in high school, I could never be out of your league!"

"Maybe not," Valerie said, rubbing her arms. "But after dating the guys I did, you were a complete upgrade. I just...didn't know how to act around you."

I couldn't shake the feeling there was something else that made it to where our relationship never went anywhere. Surely her feeling out of my league wasn't all of it. It couldn't be all of it. "Val, that's not it," I said. I shook my head and wheeled closer to her. "You're a terrible liar, Val." I gave her a lazy smirk, and it made her smile, too, if only briefly. "What made you not want to be with me? I know it wasn't the accident, because it was further back than that."

Valerie bit her lip. She wouldn't look at me. "I...I don't know," she said softly. "I guess...it was because I'm a coward."

"What did you have to be a coward about?"

"It was your mother," she said quickly. Her eyes darted to the door, then to me. "She told me to stay away from you. She said I wasn't good enough for you, and that I'd ruin your life."

I grimaced. Of course it would be my mother. And then I could pinpoint the exact moment she must have told Valerie all that crap. A few months before college, everyone had gotten together at my house to hang out. I remembered that Valerie was going to get a soda from the kitchen. My mom had been in there with her. After that day, Valerie had grown more and more distant. I remembered her telling me that maybe we shouldn't be together that much. I never knew why, but I respected her enough to go along with it.

"I was afraid that she was right," Valerie continued. "Or that she would hurt me somehow if I stayed with you. I know I shouldn't have been afraid, but..."

I rubbed my hands over my face. "No, Valerie, I don't blame you. I just...wish you would have told me sooner." I heaved a sigh. "My mother...well, you know how she was. The ironic part is that she was always the one ruining my life, not you." I smiled. "How could a brilliant girl like you ever ruin my life?"

That got another small smile out of her. "I...I'm sorry for everything, Randall. I should have told you right away, or maybe I shouldn't have listened to her in the first place."

"Hm, yeah, probably so." We locked eyes for a moment. I could feel myself starting to blush, but I couldn't look away. Now that I knew it was my mother that had driven Valerie away, part of me wondered if we could start over. But that would require her to break up with Stephen. And maybe she was just over me, now, and I was the one who needed to move on.

When neither of us could figure out something to say, I reached into the front pocket on my T-shirt and took out the necklace she had returned to me a couple months back. I had been carrying it around off and on, planning to give it back to her. "Val...I know you've moved on from me, but...I still want you to have this." I held it up for her to see. "You know, the fruit thing...if I remember correctly, the legend didn't only apply to lovers."

Valerie nodded. "Yeah, I guess not..." She stepped closer and let me drop the necklace into her palm.

"Then I want you to keep it," I said, smiling. I closed my hands around her smaller one. "No matter what, we're still friends. Okay?"

Valerie's expression brightened when she nodded. "Of course!" She put the necklace on, which made me raise my eyebrows. Yeah, her maxi dress didn't have pockets, but I didn't think she'd actually wear the necklace, not while Stephen was around. "Thank you, Randall." Her voice was barely a whisper.

I had always been a bit taller than her before. Now that I was in the wheelchair, I had to look up at her. She put her hands on my face and looked straight into my eyes. My heart was pounding, and I knew this was a bad idea, but I couldn't make myself pull away from her. I reached up to run my fingers through her hair. She edged closer and rested her knee on the edge of my seat.

Then we were kissing. It was like the night of graduation all over again. My nerves were on fire, and it just made me pull her closer. It made me keep kissing her because I hadn't felt that alive in so long. It was like taking a deep breath of air after being underwater for too long. My heart was hammering.

A chorus of shouts from the living room made her pull away like she'd been burned, leaving us both gasping for air.

The color drained from her face. "I shouldn't have done that," she breathed. Her eyes were wet with tears. She took a small step towards me again, but froze, like her heart wanted her to touch me again, but her mind wouldn't let her. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Randall. I'm so sorry."

She hurried out of the room before I could say anything to stop her.

__________________________________________________________

Thank y'all for reading!

Give "Don't You Want Me" by The Human League!

Peace✌️~ A.J.