How I Leave You

There and Back Again

So much might happen in the span of a year.

So many friendships may be forged. Broken. Revisited, perhaps, or even made anew.

More things can be seen than have been for an entire lifetime. Just as many blessings counted, chances taken, risks ran.

As I return home from my travels after just short of a year, I will remember this:

Visiting Esgaroth, the now flourishing center of northern trade, with its kind-hearted but clever Master, Bard. He welcomed me to his home just as he did all those years ago, and his girls were just as eager to see me as they had been then. Ida, now grown and with a wife of her own, finally got to touch my teeth. Though it cut open her finger, she was nonetheless satisfied. Sigrid, too, was pleased to see me, just as I was pleased that she had taken up Alfrid's old position. Personally, I found her much better suited for the task.

Traveling through Mirkwood, and being welcomed by its elves. Their king was clad in jewels of starlight, and it would be a lie to say that he did not look magnificent on his throne. Days, we feasted in my honor, for somehow, Thranduil had received news that I had been the one to persuade Thorin to give up the jewels. I stayed clear of the wine, though, regardless of how much the golden liquid tempted me. Legolas was not there, neither to greet me nor to tell me goodbye, for apparently he had gone off on his own, seeking to make a name for himself apart from that of his father.

Staying in Rivendell, feasting on their fruits and watching their stars. Their warm springs embraced me gladly, and I them, for though elves make pleasant company, I sometimes still prefer the stillness of the water. Especially since Arwen went back to Lothlórien to stay again after her brief visit with her father in Imladris. It might still be far away, but I know in my bones that she, too, will partake on an adventure of her own some day.

Returning to Bag End, where it all began. This, perhaps, was my favorite part, for Bilbo did not know I would be paying him a visit. Did not know that he would find me standing on his doorstep, just as unexpectantly as all those years ago. This time, though, he had enough rations in his pantry that he was able to offer me not just a cup of tea, but a biscuit with it, too. The hobbit had kindly chosen to forget that I prefer to make meals of men rather than of bread. Though I only stayed for a few days, I got to meet his nephew, an adorable boy by the name of Frodo, with hair dark and curly, and eyes as blue as a low tide. And as I said my goodbyes to him and his uncle, I got a feeling this would not be the last time my path would cross with the young hobbit.

But thoughts of this, of the people I have met on my journeys, and of those still in my life... all of this faded into the background with each day I came closer to Númenór. With each day I came closer to a future with the people of my past. I wondered many things.

If they would know me. Remember who I was.

In a way, I hoped that they wouldn't, for if they did, I feared they might despise me for it. For not being there when they needed me. For daring to show my face again after what I did.

The last of the way there, I crossed without the help of a boat. I would rather have succumbed to the current than be carried on the planks of a treacherous ship. Even if it took days to reach my destination, I would reach it swimming, or I would not reach it at all.

And when I finally did, when I was able to lay my eyes upon the place my people now called home, I could have cried. Such is beauty sometimes, that all its magnificence can do is produce feelings so strong, it becomes hard to breathe.

Like a sunken kingdom, it stood. Columns upon columns carried the heavy stones, which over the years had become painted with algae greens and mussels blue. Enormous archways, with intricate carvings and decorations of corals and pearls. And the buildings themselves, so grand and tall that I suspected they breached the surface, giving way to an entirely different part of the kingdom.