What The Heart Wants [L.B]

Twenty

I thought he loved me.

I thought everything was going alright.

What happened?

What did I do wrong?

Was I not good enough?

Those are just some of the questions that haven't left my mine.

It's been nearly a week and I haven't heard anything from Luke.

I've cried myself to sleep every single night and every single morning I would tell myself I wouldn't cry over him but it's no use.

I just can't believe he used me. He just threw everything away.
Our friendship.
Our trust.
Our memories.

He didn't care.

My best friend since forever has just shown his true colors to me.

Never cared.

I walk out of my room and got a banana.

I wasn't going to cry about it any longer. I deserve a night out.

I just need to find a way to get myself some alcohol since I'm not legal age in America.

My phone starts buzzing.

James.

Declined.

Sorry James. I need to be alone.

I walk back to my room. I search for an outfit to wear.

I put on a black dress. I walk out the house and make my way to the street. I need to distract myself. With whatever I can.

What will I do now?
-

Seven months later.

I moved to Maryland. I decided to go to the university here. My room mate is the sweetest person ever and we became really close in these seven months. The school is amazing. And everyone here is like a big Family.

We start on our springs break soon so I'm happy about that. I'm going with a couple of friends to Hawaii. James might tag along actually. Only for two days cause he's going to be on tour.

I still talk to the Janoskians but not as much. I talk to James and Jai the most.

I would be lying if I said that I don't miss them. But I miss Luke the most. I just can't stop thinking about him. I tell myself that I don't need him, but I want him.

Yeah he did hurt me and everything but I can't forget about him that easily. I spent a whole month crying. I woke up crying , fell asleep crying. I became bones, according to Beau.

"I can't wait to meet this James guy" Hazel said. She's the best roommate ever.

"He'll be here later today" I said clapping my hands.

"You still need to explain the Luke situation" She sat down next to me. I sighed.

She was basically my best friend so I can trust her.

I explained everything. From Melbourne up to the last day I saw him.

"And you want to know what hurt the most?" I asked her.

"What?" She asked.

"He didn't come after me that night to say sorry or anything" I said with a tear on my eye.

"He's a fucking dick. He's not worth anyone's time" she said.

"You have so many guys waiting for you out there. Literally, every guy tries to become your friend. They are sweet with you and everything and you don't pay attention to them." She laughs.