Twin Flames X Jemily

7- Confused

JJ's pov:
I was back at home now. We had the rest of today and tomorrow off because there was nothing new.

I was still hungover from last night and I was also a little confused. I remember most of it like telling Emily I was in love with her and then she kissed me.

I'm not really sure what we are though. I mean I would like to date her and I think I made it obvious with the love confession thing but I'm not sure if that's what she wants. I guess I'll have to talk to her about it but I'm kinda dreading it. I've always been bad at the "where are we" talks in relationships.

Also I've never dated a girl before. Sure I've liked them but my parents always made me date boys because of their strong religious beliefs. I'm not even religious anymore but they haven't really accepted that. I'm not sure how they will react to me telling them but I'm not going to worry about that right now.

I empty my go bag and put everything in the washing machine so I can repack it later. I head upstairs to my bathroom.

I turn on the shower to as hot as it goes before taking off my clothes and getting in. The second I do I feel the stinging in my arms and flashback to what I did in that bar bathroom yesterday.

Why did I have to do that? I was clean for so long and I just screwed it up. 4 years dissolved into nothing.

I want to build a time machine and go back to yesterday and make non of it happen. But of course I can't do that which is really annoying me.

I washed my hair and let the steam soak into my skin. I finished showering before getting out and changing into sweatpants and a tank top. I also threw on a sweater because it was February and still very cold.

I decided that I wanted to do something productive because I don't really ever do that.

I started to clean my whole apartment. I started in the kitchen and did all the dishes. Then I went around the whole apartment cleaning up and clutter.

I vacuumed the floors and then mopped and wiped every surface down until my entire apartment was spotless.

I took me only 4 hours so I still had some time to kill. I made a cup of tea and settled down on the couch to watch some tv.

I watched a few episodes of Modern Family which is one of my favourite shows, and it was only 5 o'clock. That's when I feel my phone buzz. I looked down and see it was a text from Emily.

E: hey
E: what are you doing tonight?
J: nothing. Why?
E: I was thinking we should talk. Is that okay?
J: yeah I think that's a good idea
J: meet my at my place 7pm?
E: okay sounds like a plan

I can't help but think of all the possibilities that could happen. Most likely, she just wanted to talk about the kiss and what's going on with us.

But I couldn't help but think maybe she was going to tell me the whole thing was a mistake and she didn't like me. I was nervous even though I really shouldn't be. Whatever happens is going to happen and I can't change that.

I already cleaned and showered so there isn't really anything to do. I go upstairs and decide to change. I grabbed a nice light blue sweater and a pair of skinny jeans.

I changed into them. There is no way I'm going to tell her about last night in the bathroom. If I even have a chance at actually having a relationship with her, what I did would definitely make her run.

I'm not going to let that stupid slip up ruin this for me. Nobody wants to date the messed up girl. The used and worthless girl. Nobody wants that so she wouldn't either.

It's what I've always done in past relationships. Hid everything I felt and hoped it worked out in the end. Usually it didn't but it was probably my fault.

I went back downstairs and kept watching tv in an attempt to distract myself until Emily got here. I did kinda work.

At around 7 I heard a knock at the door and almost jumped up and ran to answer it. I realized that made me look crazy so I tried to walk like a normal person to the door.

I opened it and let her in. "Hey JJ." She said. "Hey Em thanks for coming." I responded. "Let's sit down."

We both sat down on the couch. My heart was beating so loud I swear she must have been able to hear it.

"You look nervous." Emily glanced down at my tapping feet. Damn I already screwed this up. "No I'm not nervous." I lied.

"Well I'm guessing you know what I texted you." She said. I nodded. Honestly I wasn't sure but I had a pretty good guess of what it might be.

"JJ you told me you loved me last night. I don't know if you knew but I've been in love with you for a long time. But you were drunk and you kissed Will but then you kissed me and it's all a little confusing. But I do love you Jennifer."

I flinched when she talked about will. God I'm such a giant screw up why did I have to kiss him? And in front of her? But also she said she loved me! She loved me.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say next but my mouth just started talking for me. "I know I kissed will but it was just a stupid thing and I shouldn't have done it. The only reason I did it was to get your attention but still it was dumb. And I don't know if you'd want to but if you did I'd really like to date you but if you didn't-"

Emily cut me off. "JJ is this your way of asking me on a date?" She laughed. I nodded my head quickly. "Well if you're going to do that you have to actually ask me."

I felt like I was going to explode. "Emily Prenitss would you go on a date with me?" I smiled. "Yes Jennifer Jareau I would love to." She laughed mocking me.

I was grinning from ear to ear. She leaned forward and kissed me again. I felt my heart speed up when she touched me. "JJ have you ever kissed a girl?" She smiled. "I hadn't until last night." I responded.

Word count: 1136