Twin Flames X Jemily

21- All the Stars

(TW)

~3 months later~
JJ's pov:
I lay in my sleeping bag, burning hot, as I recalled the events of the last 3 months. It was June, so the sun was sweltering in Afghanistan.

I had been transferred after Emily "died" but I didn't fight it. Maybe a start somewhere else would be better for me. In dc, everywhere I looked Emily was there. I couldn't turn the corner without being hit with some heart wrenching memory.

She's not dead, but she's gone. I thought I was going to have a life with her. Get married. Have kids. I thought we were going to be together for the rest of our lives.

But now that's gone. The truth is, we may never catch Doyle. Emily may never come back. It's been three months and we have absolutely no leads. I've been checking constantly.

I'm getting too hot so I get out of my sleeping bag and slip on my shoes. I sit outside the tent, breathing in the cool night air. The sky is smokey, but you can still see the stars.

Every night when I lay awake, I think about what would happen if I just got on a plane, and flew to Paris. But then I realize that's a stupid plan. Even if we did catch Doyle, my relationship with Emily is over.

I reached into my sweatshirt pocket and pulled out the pregnancy test that I had been hiding. I held it, staring at it closely. Maybe if I look at it long enough, the second line will disappear.

But it doesn't. It's there. I'm pregnant. I had always had this image in the back of my head. Ever since I saw the test I couldn't shake the thought. Me and emily taking care of the baby.

But she wouldn't want it anyways. Who would want there ex's one night stands child? I hooked up with some random guy named Ryan. When I told him, he gave me $200 and told me to get an abortion. I never saw him after that.

I don't blame him though. I mean he probably doesn't want a child. Do I even want a child? I mean I do. I always have. But not like this. I never imagined it happening like this.

I had wanted kids my whole life. But when I met Emily, I couldn't imagine myself raising a kid with anyone but her.

A breeze brushed past me. It felt nice. It cooled off my sweaty face. I stared at the sky, making out little patterns and shapes. Not real constellations. Just things in my imagination.

I used to do that with Emily. Whenever we were back from long cases, we would sneak onto the roof and lay up there. I would point out the things I saw. Emily studied constellation in college, so she knew everything I said was wrong.

But she never said anything. She just told me they were pretty. I never went on the roof anymore. I hardly even sat and looked at the stars. It felt like everything I did, was betraying what I had with Emily.

I remember one night we just got back from a really long case, and I hadn't slept in like 3 days, but I had drank a ton of coffee so I couldn't fall asleep.

I was in Emily's apartment and I was so tired, but I couldn't force myself to fall asleep. So Emily had an idea. She took me to the roof of the building and told me to lay down.

She bet me five dollars that I couldn't count all of the stars in the sky. Me, being sleep deprived and delusional, took the bet.

Emily sat there with me for a good 45 minutes, while I attempted to count every star in the sky. I think at around 100,000 I fell asleep. Apparently Emily had carried me back inside and put me in bed.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I swore I heard a camera click. I looked around but didn't see anything. I probably just made it up. I took one more look around, and then headed back inside.

~2 days later~
"Hastings!" I screamed. We were all just talking and then everything just exploded. My ears rung as I fought the seat belt trying to get out of the truck.

I looked to the right of me and saw a man, that I couldn't even recognize. Blood poured out of his mouth and his face was burned to ashes. That could have been me.

I shoved past the bodies to get out of the truck. I heard gun shots coming from every direction. I looked in every direction and all I could see was flying bullets.

My head spun and my vision was blurry. I took out my gun and fired over and over again until my clip was empty. There was so many people but I couldn't tell who was who.

I saw Hastings though. Two men grabbed him and dragged him away. I couldn't see where he was going because of the huge clouds of dust that surrounded us.

I heard a machine gun going off and I ducked behind the truck door to shield myself. I looked around me and saw the floor was littered with bodies.

"Fall back! Fall back!" I heard a man shout. People disappeared into the dust and the gunshots slowed. I tried to stand up and see what had happened.

The world started to spin and my head was pounding. I heard screaming but it was like I couldn't make out the words. I felt everything going fuzzy and my legs couldn't support my wait anymore.

The dust was in my lungs making it hard to breathe. I looked down at my hands and saw they were torn apart. I felt blood dripping down my face. I reached for anything to hold on to as I fell to the floor. The sounds got quieter and everything got darker, until nothing was left.

~4 hours later~
I woke up to the smell of a hospital. But it wasn't a hospital. I heard the steady beeping of a heart rate monitor. I looked around confused, trying to figure out where I was. It was a triage tent.

My vest had been taken off and ie as just wearing my T-shirt and jeans. My bloody hands were bandaged.

I saw Matt walk over to me. "What happened?" I asked tiredly. "The convoy was attacked." He said nervously. "Hastings?"

"He was taken by Askari's men." Matt said. I bit my lip trying to breathe. Matt stared at the ceiling, blinking. I knew he wasn't saying something.

"There's something else." He said quietly. He stared at my abdomen.

Then I realized. My hand moved to my stomach. "No... no." I shook my head and tears pooled in my eyes. "No..."

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, walking away. I turned my head to the side, biting my lip so hard that I drew blood. I fought back the urge to just scream uncontrollably. Instead I just let out tiny sobs.

Someone from the triage team walked up to me. "We're getting you home, agent Jareau." He said unhooking me from the iv and heart rate monitor.

"Wait no. Don't take me home. Take me to Paris."

Word count: 1230